Tag Archives: lifestyle


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Didn’t wake up early, kept pressing snooze
can’t find nothin’ to wear, didn’t have the right shoes
didn’t remember to defrost dinner for tonight
didn’t remember to turn off
the back porch light.


Didn’t eat a good breakfast, pack a bagel for the drive,
didn’t brew my coffee, stop at Starbucks–it’s no lie.
Pass a slowpoke on the freeway, but get stuck behind a truck
gonna be late for work,
of all the dumb luck.


Swerve into the parking space, check the rearview mirror to be sure
Notice I forgot my earrings, before running out the door.
Flop down on the anti-ergonomic chair, watch the inbox explode
With questions, demands, and concerns.
One is written in code.


Didn’t tackle the pile of work that’s 3-days late
Sip on my latte, while my mind endures a psychological debate.
Dribble coffee on my blouse, while with technology I fight
Didn’t find the problem,
Cuz the computer’s always right.


Inhale  my sandwich, didn’t taste it at all
while workin’ through lunch and didn’t return a call.
I need..I want…I forgot…Do you have?
Are frequent  questions
That aren’t all that bad.


Didn’t finish all the work I thought should get done
Didn’t make any plans tonight to have a little fun.
Didn’t have time to find a wee slice of  Zen
Didn’t have time to clean, cook, sew, or mend.


Didn’t do this.
Didn’t do that.
Too much to do,
Ain’t that a fact!


Related Links: More Bad Poetry

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Queen of T.P.

“We’re out of toilet paper, mom!”
“There’s no more toothpaste left, honey.”
“How come we don’t have any more paper towels?”tp

Sound familiar?

One of the joys of being a Mom is that ever so gradually–over the course of many years– you inherit a few choice titles and responsibilities as well–important monikers of distinction and honor. (Can  you hear the sarcasm?)

  1. Queen of Toilet Paper: Maintains TP inventory of all bathrooms in the home.
  2. Refrigerator Czar: Responsible for incoming and outgoing food; inside cleanliness; and defender of “I’m saving that” specialty items.
  3. Empress of the Iron: Specialist in ironing clothes that family members need in 2 minutes.
  4. Pantry Princess: Stocks and organizes all canned and dried goods.
  5. Monarch of the Mall: Knows exact GPS location of every single store and closest crownparking spot.
  6. Countess of Coordination: Organizes all important events so they fall on the exact same day
  7. Maharajah of Manners: Stand in for Emily Post or Miss Manners
  8. Tyrant of the Trash: Only person capable of identifying an overflowing trash can
  9. Dinnertime Dictator: Chooses time, location, availability, and menu of meals
  10. Duchess of Don’t: Repeats time-honored maxims: “Don’t throw the ball in the house;” “Don’t forget _____:” “Don’t give me attitude:”  “I don’t think so:”

royalDo you have any special royal titles?

Related Posts: Experienced Mom lesson #1; 20 Signs you’re an Adult; Gadget Girl; Countless Club Cards; The Refrigerator Blues:

Wardrobe Malfunctions

The 73rd Annual Academy Awards - ArrivalsIs it me? Is it a girl thingThere was a time when I  pulled on a pair of pants, threw a top over my head and BAM! I was fashionable. No longer! The current fashion trends require some serious pre-planning to pull-off.

Here’s a few clothing choices with which I have difficulty:

  • Wispy see-thru blouses that are indecent and require a tank top
  • Loosely knit sweaters that have more holes than yarn! (thus, a sweater that is not warm–oh, the irony)
  • Crop tops requiring a lengthening layer underneath or fabulous abs ( have the layer, not the abs)
  • Tunic tops that only look good with skinny pants
  • Low rider jeans that make sitting without butt cleavage a challenge
  • Tops cut down to there! ( layering again)

Clothes are just too ambiguous these days!

There are:
  • skinny jeans as tight as  leggings
  • leggings that resemble jeans
  • pants that look like a skirt
  • dresses that are as short as tunics
  • skirts which look suspiciously like a tube top
  • skirts that double as either a skirt or dress
  • yoga pants that might as well be trousers

While shopping the other day I held up a filmy $300.00 piece of I-don’t-know-what and asked my daughter, “What’s this?”

“IDK,” ( she speaks in text )”but it’s marked off 60%.”

“It’s either a skirt or a top,” I say with great confidence.

“No, it’s a dress!” She shows me the little bralette insert at the top.

Well, I’l be damned. In addition to the price, manufacturers should include the type of clothing and how to wear it–you know, skirt, top, dress, pants. Wear with buttons in back—something like that.

I almost bought a sheer net A-line garment to wear over a dress or pants or pantsuit or skirt or…you get the picture.  Don’t know what I was thinking! It was just so pretty—and impractical…and another layer!

Hubby wonders why I stamp my feet in the closet.

“Look at all your clothes!” He sweeps his a hand across the row of filmly, diaphanous, knitted tops and wide, skinny, straight, pants/skirts.

“Yeah! But nothing goes! Achieving the bohemian-chic or hipster effortless look is too time-consuming!”

Related Posts: Fashionista Fanatic
Click  Amazon link for novels.

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Packing Black

imagesI‘ve got a BIG problem!

I’m not a good packer. I over-pack some items. Under pack or forget others.

A long weekend? One large suitcase and a duffle. Both stuffed! Not exactly a minimalist approach to packing.

It’s just that I can’t decide what I want to wear. What will I feel like days in advance? Clothes are an emotional decision…am I feeling fierce?  Melancholy? Do I wanna blend in or stand out? Am I having a skinny day or a fat day?

Some people pack light, I pack black.

Black is safe. The color doesn’t show spots. It’s versatile. Classy. Slimming. Also boring.

But black is also a no-brainer because I have so much of it!  Belts–skinny, wide, extra wide.  Jackets and sweaters of different shapes, weights, and styles. Trousers. Jeans. Leggings.Short tops, long tops.  And shoes! Shoes. Flat for walking. Heels for dinner. Uber trendy. Conservative.  Uggs for warmth. Open toed. Patent.

Hubby pokes fun at the pile of black shoes next to the suitcase. “We’re only going for 2 days, why do you need 4 pair of shoes?”

“Go away!” I throw a shoe at him. “Before I decide to put my blow dryer in your man bag!”

After a harrowing shoe selection, I decide on the extras. A bathing suit–you never know. Flip flops for walking to the pool. A cocktail dress. A semi-fancy dress.Sweats for an early trip to the lobby for coffee. Exercise clothes–nah.

I take a sweater or two–because it’s cold in hotels. Add a a short sleeved t-shirt, a long-sleeved t-short, a tank top–I want to be prepared.

“Just pack two outfits, that’s all you need.” Hubby, having ducked the shoe,  shakes his head and points to the growing pile of clothes.

“Oh, easy for you to say.You don’t care what  you look like.”

“I care! I’m just not obsessive!”

Mrs-Addams-_-morticia-addams-10949280-350-593After an hour of coordinating ensembles, accessories, unmentionables etc, I realize my suitcase looks like it was packed by Morticia Addams.

Packing my make-up is getting a bit easier. I just swipe my arm across the bathroom counter and drag it all into a giant tote bag.

And no matter how many lists I make, I always ALWAYS forget something critical. Like my toothbrush. Or hair brush. Or floss. Or mascara ( the horror).

Once I left all my beautifully coordinated outfits hanging on the bathroom door. Ol’ Hubby burst out laughing until I told him we had to go shopping for new duds.

If I pack for cold–the weather is uncharacteristically  warm. If I pack for heat, there’s a mysterious cold snap.
I’m the only one I knew who FROZE in the Ecuadorian rainforest!

I'm wearing 2 skirts and 4 tops in this pic

I’m wearing 2 skirts and 4 tops in this pic

“Weird weather, we’re having,” the bus driver commented as I shivered in two layers of thin cotton skirts. (Actually, that’s how Hubby translated the rapid-fire Spanish )

Maybe one day I’ll have a system comparable to all those famous jet setters. Or I’ll learn packing tips from InStyle magazine articles when they do a spread for a “weekend in wine country.”

Perhaps when I’m a famous novelist and zipping around the country signing copies of my latest bestseller I’ll HAVE IT DOWN! Packer extraordinaire! Yup..

Related Posts: The Perfect School Bag; Denim Distress; Closet Craziness; Girlie to-do list part 1; Girlie to-do list part 2; Impatient Me!

Click  Amazon link for novels.

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Wanted: Food Fairy

No joke! My daughter sent this text early in the  morning--she had no idea what today's post is about!

No joke! My daughter sent this text early in the morning–she had no idea what today’s post is about!

“Send somebody else to the grocery store!” my daughter suggests after I complain about my almost daily trips to the market–for food I don’t eat.

Seems every one in the house has 1) a car and 2) an appetite, 3) two hands, 4) 2 feet, 5) a brain, but everyone  expects  the fridge and pantry to magically fill itself–as if there’s some kind of Food Fairy.

I‘ve tried sending kiddos and Hubby to the grocery store–even gave them my pack of super saver cards and the magic plastic money card, but it never works out well.

I guess after all these years, I’m just tired of figuring out what everybody wants to eat. Oh, the basics are easy. Cheddar goldfish for daughter, cans of chili for son, but those won’t actually feed a family for a week.

Seems there’s several types of grocery items:
1.specific ingredients for meals
2. snacks
3. non food items

Once in a while, I tell kiddos and Hubby to “get food.”  I know, I know…vague.  I don’t even give them a list I just say, “figure it out.”  I mean  it’s not like they have to go into the forest to forage for berries or hunt for meat, so I don’t understand the groans.

“But what should I get?”  they ask, befuddled by my request.

I mean, they’ve only eaten like….everyday of their life!  “I don’t know.You decide.”  This grocery shopping will require higher level  thinking on their part, something they only do at work or school.

“Mom’s in one of her moods,” they mumble under their breath as they trudge out of the house.

  • Hubby’s haul:  meat, meat, meat, lettuce,and more meat
  • Daughter’s finds: make-up remover, mascara, Cheddar goldfish, candy, pretzels, face wash, ice cream, soy milk, Nutella
  • Son’s spoils: chocolate donuts, hot pockets, chips, cans of chili, frozen taquitos, razors
  • Grandmom’s loot (when she visits): triple cream brie, smoked salmon, capers, olives, vodka, diet club soda, gourmet crackers, wine ( actually she’s great at getting  the ingredients for an entire meal)

Several food groups are missing. Vegetables being the biggie.

Maybe they need more practice.

I might post this ad on Craig’s List, because you can get ANYTHING on that website.

WANTED: Food Fairy for hungry, snack-happy, unpredictable, impulsive, capricious  family who has many dietary needs.

 Food Fairy duties:
  • predicts what everyone will crave for the next 5 days
  • knows what food I’m running low on and which vegetables are rotting in the veggie bin
  • anticipates what I will have time or motivation to prepare
  • puts all the groceries away where they belong
  • throws out unidentifiable leftovers and wilted veggies

I can dream can’t I?

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Teen Talk

“Yo dawg, how mad cool are you?” (translation: hey good friend, how crazy cool are you?)

Sometimes when teenagers speak it sounds like a foreign language. It is! But I think this generation has created a whole lot more vocabulary than back “in the day.” If you remember “boss” or “narley” (spelling?) then you’re OLD dude.

Test your coolness. Can you define the following words?

1. po-po
3. mad
4. roll
5. hella
6. sick
7. aiight
8. cheddar
9. dime out
10. biter
11. mack
12. jack
13. straight
14. word
15. bounce

How did you do?

Here are the answers:

1. po-po: noun: police
2.  dawg: noun: 1.male friend ( not to be confused with dawging) 2.unattractive person either morally or phsyically)
3. mad: adj: many, astonishing, prodigious, a lot of, many
4. roll:verb:  to leave ( especially in a vehicle), to go, how you handle something
5. hella: adverb: to a high degree, exceedingly, very
6. sick: adj: great, of high quality, talented, exceptional
7. aiight: adj: acceptable, agreeable
8. cheddar: noun: money
9. dime out: verb: to inform on, tell on, expose, to rat out
10 .biter: noun: a plagarizer, or unoriginal person, copy cat
11. mack: 1. verb: to kiss, to flirt;   2,  noun: male who gets lots of sexual attention
12. jack: verb: to steal: noun: nothing
13. straight: adj, all right, fine, honest
14. word: noun; a response, endorsement, or greeting
15: bounce: verb: to leave, to go away

I’ll post 15 more words tomorrow!

WARNING: Do not attempt to use these words in a serious conversation with teens. But by all means, use words to add humor.

“I’m grounding you for coming home late, cuz that’s how mom rolls.”
“Yo honey, mom’s gotta bounce.”
Related Links: Teen Slang #2; Teen Slang #3
Click  Amazon link for novels.

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WWGWD? What would George Washington do?

red bookDuring a recent trip to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania I ran across a charming little book titled: George Washington’s Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation.(Yeah, I know, a long title) This wee book lists 110 rules for civil behavior that the Father of Our Country wrote down at the mature age of 14. The rules come from a French book on self-control, social behavior, table manners, and Christian virtues.

Oh dear, if ol’ George could see us now!


Here’s a small sampling of his maxims. I made the 200 year old English ever so much more reader-friendly.

1. Don’t sing, hum, or drum your fingers in the presence of others.
2. Don’t speak while yawning.
3. Cough, sneeze, sigh, or yawn privately, or at least cover your mouth with a handkerchief if done publicly.
4. Don’t bite your nails in public.
5. Don’t roll your eyes, lift one eyebrow, make a face, purse your lips, or shake your head when listening to someone.
6. Don’t kill any fleas,lice or ticks in public. If you see one on your companion, quickly and quietly dust if off.
7. Don’t look over someone’s shoulder while they are reading a book or writing a letter.
8. Don’t be happy at the misfortune of others.
9. Don’t laugh too much or too loudly in public.
10. Don’t offer medical advice to a sick person.
11.Don’t try to win an  argument with your superior.
12. Don’t laugh at your own jokes.
13. Don’t walk around thinking you’re all that. ( Washington’s word were “play not the peacock”)
14.Don’t be too quick in believing mean-spirited gossip.
15.Surround yourself with people of quality.
16. Don’t ask your friends to divulge a secret.
17. Don’t give unwanted advice, and if someone does ask for it, offer it briefly.
18. Don’t criticize the actions of others unless you are their parent, master, or superior.
19. Don’t stare at people’s marks or blemishes and ask them how they came to be there.
20. Don’t speak another language in front of someone who does not understand it.
21. Don’t point your finger at someone when speaking to them.
22. Don’t try to one-up someone when they explain a brave act of another.
23. Don’t repeat news if you’re unsure whether its true. Don’t gossip.
24. Don’t promise to do something you can’t deliver.
25. Don’t monopolize a conversation or repeat your words.
26. Don’t spit, scratch, or blow your nose during a meal.
27. Don’t take giant bites of food.
28. Don’t talk with your mouth full.
29. Don’t sit at the head of table unless asked to do so.
30. Listen to your conscience.


GWHow many of Washington’s Laws of Decency did you break today?

Which rules seem antiquated?

Which rules do you really, really wish people would still follow?





Starbucks Slip up

starbucks (1)The other day while my daughters and I were shopping at the mall, we stopped for a Starbucks.

The line was maybe 20 people long. Wimpy Californians had stopped to warm their chilled bodies with mochas, lattes, and other caffeine confections. The fashion of the day: skinny jeans tucked into boots, sweaters, wool scarves, coats and ponchos. Yep! We were all bundled up. 50 degree weather is downright arctic in SoCal!

We placed our order:one tall skinny mocha, one mocha, one soy strawberries and cream, no whip, and one chocolate croissant.

The small store was jammed packed. At least fifteen people are waiting for their drinks. One minute passed. Two minutes passed. Three minutes passed. All three of us wait patiently for our order, knowing it would take longer than usual.  We passed the time deciding which store to hit next and listened to why my oldest daughter did not want to go to Anthropologie  ( “It makes me too sad to see all the things I can’t afford. Unless you’re buying, mom.”)

“Oh, I heard my order,” my youngest tossing back long blonde tresses, saunters to the pickup counter. She pardons and excuses her way through the thick crowd.

A moment later she is sipping on her drink, feeling special because she got her order so quickly. We chat some more.

“Oh-oh.” She says licking the whipped cream from the straw. “This isn’t mine.” She 1265strawberry_creme2looks at the writing on the side of the cup. Sally. I stole someone’s drink. Now what do I do?”

Looking guilty, we immediately begin glancing around the store. Where is Sally? Does she know my daughter jacked her strawberries and cream?

“Who cares,” says my oldest daughter.”Drink it.”

“I can’t. This has milk in it, I’ll get sick if I drink it.” (Actually, her reply was disturbingly graphic.)

We burst out laughing! Not because we were unsympathetic about her lactose intolerance, we just realized that someone was still WAITING for their strawberries and cream.Waiting. And possibly watching…

Who knows what would happen if someone suspected you of over-priced beverage abduction! An altercation? Accusations? It looked like a pretty placid crowd—but you never know.

“Take it back,” oldest daughter says.

“I can’t. I’m embarrassed. You do it for me.”

“No way. You have a choice, drink it and be sick tonight or take it back and look stupid.”

Another round of laughter. Who wants to look stupid?

In the end, my youngest did return the strawberries and cream ,and we eventually did get our drinks.

Drink theft!

Have you ever accidentally or on purpose taken someone else’s drink order? Has anyone ever taken yours?  Did you confront them? Tell the barista?

Please share your coffee conundrums by leaving a comment
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First World Problems

OMG! I think I have FWP!

Came across this funny little gem. Perfect to show my students. Sometimes we forget how good we have it.  Do YOU  have FWP?


My FWP? When Starbucks runs out of those little green sticky-things and I spill a few drops of overpriced mocha while walking to my car.
What’s an example of one of your FWPs?
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Survival Saturday: Tripping the Light Fantastic

lightsIt’s THAT time of year! Time for Hubby to drag out the dusty boxes full of Christmas lights. It ain’t a pretty sight!

The photo you see is our neighbor’s light display!

“Honey, Our neighbor is STILL putting Christmas lights up!”
Hubby—who is not competitive at all ( cough, cough)— walks outside and waves to our over zealous, light-tastic neighbor. “This year, I’m gonna out light him!”
“Sure you are.”
“This year I mean it. I’m pullin’ out all the stops! I’ve drawn a diagram, bought more extension cords…”
Hubby proceeds to take down and unpack all the boxes labeled Christmas lights.
“This year, we’re gonna have the most lights!” He says while laying light strands across the yard.
The neighbor in question takes weeks to put up his lights. We have NO IDEA where he stores the stuff either—his garage just isn’t big enough.
Fast forward an hour…
“I can’t find the reindeer or the angel’s head. Think anyone will notice?”

Nah, no one will notice a headless angel!

“How does a  reindeer-sized box go missing?” 
I think I threw the reindeer out last year. Only its ass lit up—it looked so wrong.”
Last year, our teens had many colorful names for the booty-lit deer. Since this is a PG blog, I regrettably cannot repeat those hilarious crude epithets. They even made a song about it to the tune of Rudolph,The Red-nosed Reindeer.

Now, just so you know, there is NO POSSIBLE way my husband can compete with the retired (we think) carpenter across the street. But every year Hubby buys several more decorations. Inflatable Santa is his favorite. No assembly required.

This Saturday, Hubby—wearing golf clothes—tells me he will be stopping by the golf course on his way to buy more decorations.

Our Christmas light collection to date:

  • 3 boxes of semi-tangled icicle lights
  • 2 boxes of  blanket lights to throw over bushes
  • 1 inflatable Santa—who appears a bit on the ethnic side—Hubby says he’s tan.
  • 1 impossible to put together mechanical elves-on-teeter-totter
  • 1 angel with trumpet
  • a 5-ft lighted wreath that requires balancing on a ledge from a 2nd story window to hang—-Scary ( the precarious procedure used to hang it, not the wreath).
  • 1 snowman
  • As of 3 PM: one inflatable bear   

 I’ll try to classy the place up with a few poinsettia by the door.

Can’t wait to see what Hubby comes home with next.

Please, everyone, stay safe this Holiday Season.

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More Rules for Life

Yesterday, I wrote about some of my favorite Rules for Life. Today I decided to share a few of my own.

1.  Eat chocolate every day    

2. Write-write-write ( edit what I write)

3. Lose the nay-sayers

4. Listen to music that makes me happy

5. Steal some quiet time

6. Wear clothes that make me look 10 lbs thinner

7. Make somebody laugh

8. Laugh at myself

9. Do something nice for someone 

Fruits, nuts, chocolate...contains all the food groups necessary for survival

10. Count my blessings

11. Buy more chocolate






Rules for a Good Life

There are lots of different Rules for a Good Life. Here’s one of my favorites. My tongue in cheek comments are in red.

Note: Type A personality is defined as one who is an impatient, ambitious, workaholic multi-tasker.

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.  Too bad we don’t understand this until we’re older and/or have experienced a harrowing divorce.

2. Work at something you enjoy and that’s worthy of your time and talent. Ah, if we could be sooo lucky and make money at the same time!

3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. This sounds like a Type A personality—maybe not the cheerful part.

4. Be forgiving of yourself and others. Others, OK. Myself? Not so much.

5. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know. Maybe if I had some meds….or an extra tall double shot espresso and a brownie.

6. Be generousMy children’s reminder at Christmas.

7. Persistence, persistence, persistence. If you’re a parent, you don’t have a choice!

8. Have a grateful heart. I try, but its tough when tasks at home and office keep piling up.

9. Discipline yourself to save money on even a modest salary. This is my least favorite “rule.” I didn’t even want to include it. Think of it more as a “guideline.” In addition,   it conflicts with #6 (be generous). Good thing this rule will help me practice  #4 (forgiving myself).

10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated. I could write pages on this one—but I usually keep my blogs short.

11. Commit yourself to constant improvement. Type A personality strikes again! Hubby uses a more unflattering term “perfectionist.” The word “commit” carries some serious baggage, as well. But oh! if I could only instill this in my students!( especially with regard to their essays)

12. Commit yourself to quality. This conflicts with   # 9 (saving money), be it chocolate or automobiles.

13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.  If this were remotely possible there would be no great literature  and the world would be perfect

14. Be loyal. To what? This also may conflict with #1. And what would happen to all the reality TV shows if everyone obeyed this rule?

15. Be honest. With yourself—yes , but see rule #10 for the all too frequent, “Honey, do I look fat in this?” question.  Lie to me!

16. Be a self-starter. This is a biggie; in fact, this rule is so important it should be re-assigned to the # 2 or #3 spot. Think about it: If you’re not a self-starter all the rules are for naught!

17. Be decisive even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong. Once again, this rule may be at odds with # 9 (saving $) “Yes, charge it!”   And I’m never wrong.

18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life. Ah, but where’s the fun in that? With whom would I argue? Unless I’m arguing with myself—see rule #17.

19.  Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did. WARNING: Do not show this rule to teenagers!

20. Take good care of those you love. Yet again, this may require breaking rule # 9. Unless they’re referring to hugs, kisses, sympathy, compassion, yada yada

21. Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make Mom or Dad proud. Depending on generation, ethnicity, or culture, I fully understand  this may be more of a challenge for some of us than others.

What rules do you have the most difficulty with? OR better still, please share your Rules for Life!  I would love to compile a new list!



Do you love or hate Black Friday?


Black Friday? No thanks.

It’s frightening! The crazed mobs—people hell-bent on getting the absolutely lowest price ever ever…ever.

Many fine, sane people make Black Friday a family tradition. And they even have a system honed from years of service to the Black Friday gods.

  • They calculate their approach.
  • Organize flyers and coupons.
  • Deploy funds months in advance
  • Arise before dawn.
  • Suit up for action, combat, speed, and comfort.
  • Strategize their plan of attack shopping.
  • Map out the parking lot.
  • Calculate the route.
  • Project space needed in car trunk.
  • Enlist volunteers.
  • And they’re off!

They have Black Friday on the Internet, you know. It’s safe and there’s no worry about flash mobs or aisle insanity or vigilante bargain hunters.

Here’s a few reasons why I stay as far away from the malls on Black Friday as possible.

  • Still recovering from chopping, slicing, cooking, serving, cleaning up from the day before.
  • My grown children want cash or gift cards—preferably with a few zeroes at the end.
  • My children send me links to any desired item.
  • Crowds are scary.
  • The parking lots are terrifying.
  • I hate hate hate  really dislike waiting in lines.

Quick story: My daughter, who is employed at a big name store in the local outlet mall, worked her first Black Friday last year. She was a bit nervous, especially after hearing all the horror stories of shoppers gone wild. “Oh well,” she said brightly, “At least the day will go by fast.”

After dragging her weary self in the door eight hours later, she flopped on the couch. “My face hurts! I can’t smile anymore. It was awful!”

“What happened?”

“The district manager made me stand at the front door all day and repeat the same thing over and over. ‘Happy Holidays. Everything is buy one, get one half off. Thank you for shopping at XXXX.’ A billion times! And I had to be super happy every time I said it!”

No doubt.

So, Best Wishes all you fearless Black Friday shoppers.

I applaud your bravery and spunk and fortitude.

God Bless and may the shopping Force be with you.

And to those who are working the other side of the registers on that day.

Good luck!