“We’re out of toilet paper, mom!”
“There’s no more toothpaste left, honey.”
One of the joys of being a Mom is that ever so gradually–over the course of many years– you inherit a few choice titles and responsibilities as well–important monikers of distinction and honor. (Can you hear the sarcasm?)
- Queen of Toilet Paper: Maintains TP inventory of all bathrooms in the home.
- Refrigerator Czar: Responsible for incoming and outgoing food; inside cleanliness; and defender of “I’m saving that” specialty items.
- Empress of the Iron: Specialist in ironing clothes that family members need in 2 minutes.
- Pantry Princess: Stocks and organizes all canned and dried goods.
- Monarch of the Mall: Knows exact GPS location of every single store and closest parking spot.
- Countess of Coordination: Organizes all important events so they fall on the exact same day
- Maharajah of Manners: Stand in for Emily Post or Miss Manners
- Tyrant of the Trash: Only person capable of identifying an overflowing trash can
- Dinnertime Dictator: Chooses time, location, availability, and menu of meals
- Duchess of Don’t: Repeats time-honored maxims: “Don’t throw the ball in the house;” “Don’t forget _____:” “Don’t give me attitude:” “I don’t think so:”