Tag Archives: fashion blog

Spring Cleaning #2

toomanyclothes2The closet!  That small space where more stuff is jammed inside than any other room in the house. Occasionally, InStyle magazine will feature celebrity closets—a crystal chandelier-ed, fabulously lite, color-coordinated space the size of my garage—but I just turn the page (OK, maybe I take the briefest peek). The ceiling-high rows of Manalos, Louboutins, and Pradas just bring tears to my modest income eyes!

And yet I have learned ONE thing from those glossy pages: The essentials of closet organization. Unfortunately, I don’t have too much room to work with—Hubby’s insists on hanging up his trousers and shirts—which leaves me with one option: A Spring Closet Purge.

Spring Cleaning #1 lists the closet cleaning essentials so I won’t repeat.

The most difficult part of the task? Defining the vision of yourself!  I see a gorgeous, refined, elegant Donna Karan draped woman with effortless style holding a glass of wine. My hair is shiny and smooth; make-up, flawless.

That’s the dream, anyway.

The reality is a woman who scrambles out of bed at 5 am to get to work by 7. Returns nine hours later—grocery bags in hand—to write novels while burning dinner.

Reality: More coffee than wine. Harried expression. Worn off makeup. Yoga pants & t-shirt.

The impossible closet task: Clothes to purge:
  • require intensive coordination time because some pants only look good with certain top and shoes.
  • show signs of shrinkage because I swear clothes do that when they sit in the closet for any length of time. Right?
  • don’t match anything. At. All.
  • have holes–except jeans—you pay extra for denim with holes.
  • any garment that doesn’t make you feel fabulous. OK, I admit, this is the most challenging part. Pick a day when you’re feeling mildly fabulous.
Several piles lay on the floor.
  • give away
  • throw away
  • one day I’ll fit back into these—hey, it’s happened before!
  • repair—hems, buttons etc.
  • need daughters’ opinions. They’re always brutally honest.
  • a plastic-wire-felt mountain of hangers.

State of the closet?  The wooden rod no longer sags with the weight of the unwearable!   Was that a breeze I felt?  I see the corner! Ah! That’s where the scarf disappeared! Light shines over the clothes! Birds sing! All is right with the world!

I vow to make better/smarter clothing purchases and feel better knowing that anything I grab will be wearable.

And although I still don’t look like the woman of my dreams—because I can’t afford Donna Karan—at least I made my life a little less stressful in the morning.

My heroes!

My heroes!

Related  Posts: Random Realities: Fashionista Fanatic; Mom Musings

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Spring Cleaning

What a mess--I vow to be brutal!

What a mess–I vow to be brutal!

Spring Cleaning! Some tackle the garage. Some vacuum behind every cushion on the couch, or wipe the blinds, or clean the drapes. Seems like an awful lot of work.

My idea of spring cleaning? My closet! Discarding the frayed, the old, the too tight, and the what-was-I-thinking?  Oh, and sorting shoes!

I don’t know-maybe it’s me-–but if my clothes are in order perhaps I will:
  • leave the house faster in the morning
  • feel perfectly put together with minimal effort
  • find the outfit I’m looking for in 1/2 the time
  • throw less tantrums in the closet

Estimated closet spring cleaning time:  2 days

Here’s the supplies I need:
  • Plastic bin for the  “one day I’ll fit back into these expensive clothes”
  • Large plastic bag for give-away items
  • Large plastic bin for thrift store
  • coffee
  • courage
  • resolve
  • one honest daughter to say, “That’s soooo old lady, mom. Toss it!”
Day #1:  Shoes: They’re easy to sort. 
Shoes tossed:
  • have nicked heels
  • are worn at the toe
  • have heels so poorly designed I look drunk when walking
  • give me blisters ( too tight)
  • are so loose I walk out of them
  • are no longer my style
  • might be cute but are not comfortable for any length of time
  • squeak
  • jingle loudly from the poorly-placed decorative hardware
While staring at the pile and reviewing the shoes that survived the purge, I have a minor epiphany. The course of one’s life is revealed in shoe purchases.
I tossed:
  • Uber-pointy, wobbly stilettos because I’m not dating anymore.
  • Flat ballerinas with no arch support because my day is long and involves walking and standing.
  • Any footwear that is remotely uncomfortable because hurting feet equals grumpy girl.
  • Any shoe with a square toe because Stacy & Clinton of What Not to Wear fame would be horrified.
  • Any shoe with a chunky heel because it screams “old lady.”

What’s left of my fabulous shoes collection? Too many black shoes! And no where near enough expensive fashion-forward shoes! ACK!

Time to go shoe-shopping. Maybe spring cleaning isn’t so bad after all.

Tomorrow: Purging the clothes!

Related links: Random Realities; Mom Musings; Fashionista Fanatic

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Wardrobe Malfunctions

The 73rd Annual Academy Awards - ArrivalsIs it me? Is it a girl thingThere was a time when I  pulled on a pair of pants, threw a top over my head and BAM! I was fashionable. No longer! The current fashion trends require some serious pre-planning to pull-off.

Here’s a few clothing choices with which I have difficulty:

  • Wispy see-thru blouses that are indecent and require a tank top
  • Loosely knit sweaters that have more holes than yarn! (thus, a sweater that is not warm–oh, the irony)
  • Crop tops requiring a lengthening layer underneath or fabulous abs ( have the layer, not the abs)
  • Tunic tops that only look good with skinny pants
  • Low rider jeans that make sitting without butt cleavage a challenge
  • Tops cut down to there! ( layering again)

Clothes are just too ambiguous these days!

There are:
  • skinny jeans as tight as  leggings
  • leggings that resemble jeans
  • pants that look like a skirt
  • dresses that are as short as tunics
  • skirts which look suspiciously like a tube top
  • skirts that double as either a skirt or dress
  • yoga pants that might as well be trousers

While shopping the other day I held up a filmy $300.00 piece of I-don’t-know-what and asked my daughter, “What’s this?”

“IDK,” ( she speaks in text )”but it’s marked off 60%.”

“It’s either a skirt or a top,” I say with great confidence.

“No, it’s a dress!” She shows me the little bralette insert at the top.

Well, I’l be damned. In addition to the price, manufacturers should include the type of clothing and how to wear it–you know, skirt, top, dress, pants. Wear with buttons in back—something like that.

I almost bought a sheer net A-line garment to wear over a dress or pants or pantsuit or skirt or…you get the picture.  Don’t know what I was thinking! It was just so pretty—and impractical…and another layer!

Hubby wonders why I stamp my feet in the closet.

“Look at all your clothes!” He sweeps his a hand across the row of filmly, diaphanous, knitted tops and wide, skinny, straight, pants/skirts.

“Yeah! But nothing goes! Achieving the bohemian-chic or hipster effortless look is too time-consuming!”

Related Posts: Fashionista Fanatic
Click  Amazon link for novels.

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Packing Black

imagesI‘ve got a BIG problem!

I’m not a good packer. I over-pack some items. Under pack or forget others.

A long weekend? One large suitcase and a duffle. Both stuffed! Not exactly a minimalist approach to packing.

It’s just that I can’t decide what I want to wear. What will I feel like days in advance? Clothes are an emotional decision…am I feeling fierce?  Melancholy? Do I wanna blend in or stand out? Am I having a skinny day or a fat day?

Some people pack light, I pack black.

Black is safe. The color doesn’t show spots. It’s versatile. Classy. Slimming. Also boring.

But black is also a no-brainer because I have so much of it!  Belts–skinny, wide, extra wide.  Jackets and sweaters of different shapes, weights, and styles. Trousers. Jeans. Leggings.Short tops, long tops.  And shoes! Shoes. Flat for walking. Heels for dinner. Uber trendy. Conservative.  Uggs for warmth. Open toed. Patent.

Hubby pokes fun at the pile of black shoes next to the suitcase. “We’re only going for 2 days, why do you need 4 pair of shoes?”

“Go away!” I throw a shoe at him. “Before I decide to put my blow dryer in your man bag!”

After a harrowing shoe selection, I decide on the extras. A bathing suit–you never know. Flip flops for walking to the pool. A cocktail dress. A semi-fancy dress.Sweats for an early trip to the lobby for coffee. Exercise clothes–nah.

I take a sweater or two–because it’s cold in hotels. Add a a short sleeved t-shirt, a long-sleeved t-short, a tank top–I want to be prepared.

“Just pack two outfits, that’s all you need.” Hubby, having ducked the shoe,  shakes his head and points to the growing pile of clothes.

“Oh, easy for you to say.You don’t care what  you look like.”

“I care! I’m just not obsessive!”

Mrs-Addams-_-morticia-addams-10949280-350-593After an hour of coordinating ensembles, accessories, unmentionables etc, I realize my suitcase looks like it was packed by Morticia Addams.

Packing my make-up is getting a bit easier. I just swipe my arm across the bathroom counter and drag it all into a giant tote bag.

And no matter how many lists I make, I always ALWAYS forget something critical. Like my toothbrush. Or hair brush. Or floss. Or mascara ( the horror).

Once I left all my beautifully coordinated outfits hanging on the bathroom door. Ol’ Hubby burst out laughing until I told him we had to go shopping for new duds.

If I pack for cold–the weather is uncharacteristically  warm. If I pack for heat, there’s a mysterious cold snap.
I’m the only one I knew who FROZE in the Ecuadorian rainforest!

I'm wearing 2 skirts and 4 tops in this pic

I’m wearing 2 skirts and 4 tops in this pic

“Weird weather, we’re having,” the bus driver commented as I shivered in two layers of thin cotton skirts. (Actually, that’s how Hubby translated the rapid-fire Spanish )

Maybe one day I’ll have a system comparable to all those famous jet setters. Or I’ll learn packing tips from InStyle magazine articles when they do a spread for a “weekend in wine country.”

Perhaps when I’m a famous novelist and zipping around the country signing copies of my latest bestseller I’ll HAVE IT DOWN! Packer extraordinaire! Yup..

Related Posts: The Perfect School Bag; Denim Distress; Closet Craziness; Girlie to-do list part 1; Girlie to-do list part 2; Impatient Me!

Click  Amazon link for novels.

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