Hubby Funnies: Hubby Goes to Costco

Costco (1)It’s not often Hubby accompanies me to Costco. Can’t say I blame him. It’s crammed with people; you spend more than you budget; buy stuff you don’t really need ( in bulk); and wile away a good hour walking up and down the skyscraper-high isles.

 

Hubby doesn’t like shopping. (The “s” word makes him yawn.)
So when we had to return a Christmas gift, he decided to come with me. After we waited in the miles long return line, I informed him I needed to “get a few things.” ( Female for “Muhhahaha…I’m gonna make you push a cart behind me like a sissy while I take many hours to buy all the food in the store!”)

 

Hubby pushed the cart , BUT he didn’t follow me. I headed toward the grocery section, thinking Hubby was right behind me. By the time I turned at the Polar Ice Cap ( the frigid room where they keep the veggies), Hubby had vanished!

Gone!

Disappeared into the Costco abyss!
I looked all over for him! I finally found him in front of one of the sample stands, noshing on a sausage.
“What are you doing?”
“Eating.” He executes a perfect toss of his paper cup into the trash bin.This is only my 4th stop, there are about 5 more to go. And I want to go back to the sausage lady.”
“Well,hurry up,  I’ll be in the veggie room.”
“I’ll be right behind you.”
But I enter the veggie room alone! Again!
He finally…finally meets up with me, a frown on his face. “Do we really need all those vegetables?”
“I thought you were going on your caveman diet!”
“I am! Meat and vegetables and meat!”
I toss an armload of celery, asparagus, red peppers, cucumbers, and lettuce in the cart. “You can pick out your own meat.”

 

Now Hubby likes to complain that I shop “too slow” and take “too much time.” He doesn’t know how to choose a ripe fruit or a fresh vegetable.
So imagine my surprise when he spends  a looooong time perusing all the meat cases! He went from pork to beef to chicken and back again. His pupils were dilated and he wore a delirious  smile on his face. ( Kind of like when I see a shoe sale)
After much deliberation, he tossed pounds of pork in the cart, then marched over to the beef section where –I swear—he  wiped a tear as he fondled a 50 lb cut of beef.
“You are NOT getting that!” I shake my head.
“It’s so beautiful. I can almost taste it.”
After I drag him away from the meat cases, I stop at the kitchenware isle and point to the pots.
“I need new pots.”
“Yeah, I know, you keep telling me, but there’s no way I’m gonna buy you pots for Christmas. I would NEVER live that down.”
“You’re probably right.”
He hoists the giant box into the cart next to all the meat and together we stroll to the register—he’s happy about his meat and I’m glad to have shiny new pots.
Best part about taking Hubby to Costco: He loads the stuff in the car and unloads it when we get home.
Now, If only he would cook all the meat he bought!

Related Links: Hubby goes to starbucks; Hubby helps in the kitchen; Hubby uses the car’s navigation system

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