Tag Archives: shopping

Wardrobe Malfunctions

The 73rd Annual Academy Awards - ArrivalsIs it me? Is it a girl thingThere was a time when I  pulled on a pair of pants, threw a top over my head and BAM! I was fashionable. No longer! The current fashion trends require some serious pre-planning to pull-off.

Here’s a few clothing choices with which I have difficulty:

  • Wispy see-thru blouses that are indecent and require a tank top
  • Loosely knit sweaters that have more holes than yarn! (thus, a sweater that is not warm–oh, the irony)
  • Crop tops requiring a lengthening layer underneath or fabulous abs ( have the layer, not the abs)
  • Tunic tops that only look good with skinny pants
  • Low rider jeans that make sitting without butt cleavage a challenge
  • Tops cut down to there! ( layering again)

Clothes are just too ambiguous these days!

There are:
  • skinny jeans as tight as  leggings
  • leggings that resemble jeans
  • pants that look like a skirt
  • dresses that are as short as tunics
  • skirts which look suspiciously like a tube top
  • skirts that double as either a skirt or dress
  • yoga pants that might as well be trousers

While shopping the other day I held up a filmy $300.00 piece of I-don’t-know-what and asked my daughter, “What’s this?”

“IDK,” ( she speaks in text )”but it’s marked off 60%.”

“It’s either a skirt or a top,” I say with great confidence.

“No, it’s a dress!” She shows me the little bralette insert at the top.

Well, I’l be damned. In addition to the price, manufacturers should include the type of clothing and how to wear it–you know, skirt, top, dress, pants. Wear with buttons in back—something like that.

I almost bought a sheer net A-line garment to wear over a dress or pants or pantsuit or skirt or…you get the picture.  Don’t know what I was thinking! It was just so pretty—and impractical…and another layer!

Hubby wonders why I stamp my feet in the closet.

“Look at all your clothes!” He sweeps his a hand across the row of filmly, diaphanous, knitted tops and wide, skinny, straight, pants/skirts.

“Yeah! But nothing goes! Achieving the bohemian-chic or hipster effortless look is too time-consuming!”

Related Posts: Fashionista Fanatic
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Do you love or hate Black Friday?

 

Black Friday? No thanks.

It’s frightening! The crazed mobs—people hell-bent on getting the absolutely lowest price ever ever…ever.

Many fine, sane people make Black Friday a family tradition. And they even have a system honed from years of service to the Black Friday gods.

  • They calculate their approach.
  • Organize flyers and coupons.
  • Deploy funds months in advance
  • Arise before dawn.
  • Suit up for action, combat, speed, and comfort.
  • Strategize their plan of attack shopping.
  • Map out the parking lot.
  • Calculate the route.
  • Project space needed in car trunk.
  • Enlist volunteers.
  • And they’re off!

They have Black Friday on the Internet, you know. It’s safe and there’s no worry about flash mobs or aisle insanity or vigilante bargain hunters.

Here’s a few reasons why I stay as far away from the malls on Black Friday as possible.

  • Still recovering from chopping, slicing, cooking, serving, cleaning up from the day before.
  • My grown children want cash or gift cards—preferably with a few zeroes at the end.
  • My children send me links to any desired item.
  • Crowds are scary.
  • The parking lots are terrifying.
  • I hate hate hate  really dislike waiting in lines.

Quick story: My daughter, who is employed at a big name store in the local outlet mall, worked her first Black Friday last year. She was a bit nervous, especially after hearing all the horror stories of shoppers gone wild. “Oh well,” she said brightly, “At least the day will go by fast.”

After dragging her weary self in the door eight hours later, she flopped on the couch. “My face hurts! I can’t smile anymore. It was awful!”

“What happened?”

“The district manager made me stand at the front door all day and repeat the same thing over and over. ‘Happy Holidays. Everything is buy one, get one half off. Thank you for shopping at XXXX.’ A billion times! And I had to be super happy every time I said it!”

No doubt.

So, Best Wishes all you fearless Black Friday shoppers.

I applaud your bravery and spunk and fortitude.

God Bless and may the shopping Force be with you.

And to those who are working the other side of the registers on that day.

Good luck!