Everyone knows the “Alphabet song” and “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” are the the same melody. And so is “Mary had a Little Lamb” and “London Bridge.” So in the spirit of Weird Al Yankovic I’ve writer-ized opening lines to a few famous songs.
Note: Changes are bolded.
Well, it was just seventeen pages—if you know what I mean
The Beatles/ I Saw Her Standing There
I’m on the highway to editing hell.
- AC/DC / Highway to Hell
Why do adverbs suddenly appear every time an agent is near?
- The Carpenters/ Close to You
Well, it’s one for the money, two for the read, three to get KDP, now go, Amazon, go!”
- Carl Perkins / Blue Suede Shoes
There must be some kind of way out of here, said the writer to the plot problem.
Jimi Hendrix/ All Along the Watchtower
Hello, typos, my old friend
- Simon and Garfunkel/ The Sound of Silence
You were working as a writer in a coffee shop, when I met you
- Human League/ Don’t You Want Me
And you may find yourself living in a fictional world / And you may find yourself in another part of the world / And you may find yourself behind a laptop computer.
- Talking Heads/ Once in a Lifetime
Guess what just got back today / Those wild-eyed queries I emailed away
- Thin Lizzy / The Boys are back in Town
I get up, and social media management gets me down / You got it tough / I’ve seen the toughest tweeters around.
- Van Halen/ Jump
Just a small town writer, livin’ in a lonely world / She took the FaceBook train goin’ anywhere.
- Journey/ Don’t Stop Believin’
She’s a very kinky writer, the kind you don’t recommend to mother.
- Rick James/ Superfreak
Hello, is there any agent out there? Just email if you can hear me.
- Pink Floyd/ Comfortably Numb
Ground Control to Major plot flaw
- David Bowie/ Major Tom
The devil went down to a beta reader; he was lookin’ for a soul to steal.
- Charlie Daniels Band/ The Devil Went Down to Georgia
A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How that manuscript used to make me smile.
- Don McLean/ American Pie
Welcome back, my friends
To the edits that never end
We’re so glad you could attend
Turn the page, turn the page.
- Emerson, Lake, & Palmer/ Karn Evil 9 – 1st Impression – Part 2
I like big sales and I cannot lie.
- Sir Mix-A-Lot/ Baby Got Back
Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a character of wealth and taste
I’ve been around for a long, long year
Stole the writer’s soul and faith
Rolling Stones/ Sympathy for the Devil
After writing this post, I know exactly what the next few blog topics will be. Stay tuned…
What opening-lines can you writer-ize?
Related links: Readin’ & Writin’