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Swimsuit Sorrows

“You got mail from Victoria’s Secret!” I shout to my daughter as I wave a small envelope.
She bounds down the stairs and swipes it from my hands. “Oh! It’s my new bikini!”

Bikini? I’m holding a small flat envelope in my hands.

She rips open the paper and pulls out…..
2 dots and a dash.
“Adorable, right?” she says holding up the pink body floss.

I owned such a swimsuit like that once. I remember it clearly. It was a red and white tiger striped bandeau style with teeny tiny bottoms.

Damn, I looked good in that swimsuit.

“You look sad.” Sweet daughter says. 
“I’m just having swimsuit flashbacks–remembering when I could wear bikinis like that.”
She looks skeptical.
“I need a new swimsuit–go shopping with me.”
“No way, mom. You’re gonna get in the dressing room and start ranting and raving about swimsuit designers. Then you’re gonna complain that you can’t work, write, blog, cook, blah blah and still spend 3 hours at the gym.”
“I’ll buy you Starbucks.”
“OK.”

Hubby walks by. “I’ll come bikini shopping with you.”

“Don’t let him come, mom. He thinks you look good in everything!” 

Here’s a sampling of my daughter’s remarks  at the department store.

“The flower print is too big.”
“The stripes are going the wrong way.”
“Hideous.”
“That’s too pink.”
“You really need a tan.”
“Not in public.”
“Too old lady.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“That’s really retro. You need red lips–you don’t look good with red lips.”
“Too Vegas.”
“It doesn’t look good from this angle.” ( she’s looking straight at me)
“Maybe if you did some stomach crunches.”
“Maybe we should just find a great sarong–so you can cover it all up.”

 

We finally find a figure-enhancing swimsuit that doesn’t look half bad.

“I’m sorry, mom,” daughter says as we sip our coffees. “When you get rich, you can hire a personal trainer and chef, and just focus on you.”

I give her hug. “OK.”

Mmmm…focus on me.  Sounds good, but instead of going to the gym, I would much rather take a painting class…

Related links :Multi-tasking Flunky; Gracious LivingJunk MailCloset Craziness; Surviving My PurseOde to Stilettos; Girlie to-do list #1Girlie to-do list #2Sequestration at my houseMom’s Smoke Signals

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5th Amendment–Family Style

shshshTaking the 5th!

Pleading the 5th amendment is useful if you’re a politico or scapegoat or tipster sitting in the Hot Seat!

While driving to work, I listened as the radio broadcast a government employee invoking the 5th and I thought, “Well, that came in handy.”

In case you were absent the day they taught the 5th amendment in school:

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation

Too bad we can’t invoke the right in work situations or in our personal lives.

Imagine how much we could get away with!

  • Mom: Who broke the vase? Kiddo: I take the 5th.
  • Dad: Who filled the vodka bottle with water?  Teen: My government teacher says I can plead the 5th so I don’t  incriminate myself.
  • Wife: Why didn’t you remember our anniversary?  Hubby: Taking the 5th and calling to make dinner reservations right now.
  • Boss: Why did the client go to our competitor? Employee: I invoke the protective rights of the  5th amendment while I call the HR department
  • Teacher: Why didn’t you turn in the assignment on time? Student: Not only do I take the 5th, I’m telling my mom you’re prying into my personal life.
  • Mom: Why did you pee in the house?   Dog: Woof.

Of course, the moment someone pleads the 5th amendment, we know or assume the person might just as well have shouted:

guilty

 

But wait, you say. It’s wrong to assume guilt–that’s not what the amendment was written for at all!  One thing is certain: Something funky is going on!

I stay far away from all political discussions (on my blog at least);

however, as any parent can attest, a child who doggedly remains silent–and is NOT the guilty party–is really covering for someone else! Usually a sibling or friend! Which in Parentland requires a long lecture and cajoling to tell “the truth.”

We still don’t know which kiddo filled the vodka bottle with water. *sigh* Maybe one day.

Good thing the home is not a court room!

What do you think? If someone pleads the 5th, nolo contendre ( I refuse to agree or deny), or remains silent on an issue what is your instinctive response?

Related Links:  Multi-tasking FlunkyJunk MailCloset CrazinessSequestration at my houseMom’s Smoke Signals; Gracious Living

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Empty Nest

empty nestThe last child graduated from high school. A mile stone! Not for my daughter–we expected her to graduate–but for mom.

“Are you sad?” asks Hubby. “Your baby is moving out and going to college.”

Sad? Um…

My life has been consumed with children for many years. Children that I had to:

  • cook for
  • nag at
  • scold
  • drive around
  • be exasperated by
  • worry about
  • give money to
  • catch in lies
  • make emergency runs to wherever ( school, game, hospital, work, friend)

Sad?  Not so much.. I do feel some relief.

Hubby gives me a worried look. “Most moms are sad when the last one leaves home.”

Why aren’t I sad? His statement gives me a fair amount of angst!

And then it hits me!  The children have worn me out! After 27 years of kiddos, Mom is just plum tuckered out! Wiped out! Run-down!

27 years of mom…mom…mom…mom…mom ( young parents, that summons never ends).

Mom needs a few years to recuperate before grandchildren start arriving.

terminatorAnd it’s not like they’re really gone! Like the Terminator who says, “I’ll be back,” this is only the end of Season 1 of Life with Children.

Maybe years ago, before the advent to social media and techno-everything, parents probably felt  the empty nest syndrome more profoundly.

Texting, Instagram, Facebook mean the umbilical cord is still attached—-a cyber-umbilical cord! Of course, if they de-friend me that’s a different story!

Quick true story:
Mom: Why did you defriend me on Facebook?
Son: I don’t want you to see what I’m doing!
Mom: Oh, but you have no problem letting a future employer see your shenanigans?
Son: Oh! Hadn’t thought of that! OK, look, I’m re-friending you right now. **mutters under breath, damn**

And I’m 100% certain that the above bulleted points NEVER  end for a mom–I mean, that’s what mom’s do, right?

So, what’s really changed?

I still receive their parking tickets, mail, jury summons, W2’s, and junk mail. They still come in, head straight for the fridge, and forage for snack food.

“I think we should turn the front bedroom into my office or maybe an exercise room,” I say to Hubby after graduation.

“I can see you’re all choked up!” Hubby scratches his chin in wonder.

The nest may be empty, my little birdies flown the coop, but the time has come for this old chick to spread her wings and fly.

And it’s time for my hatchlings to be catching their own worms!

Related Posts:Multi-tasking Flunky; Gracious Living; Junk MailCloset Craziness; Surviving My PurseOde to Stilettos; Girlie to-do list #1Girlie to-do list #2Sequestration at my houseMom’s Smoke Signals

 

The Archangels

We are familiar with the 2 most famous archangels, Michael and Gabriel, but according to liturgical sources, there are 8 Princes of the Archangel Order.

Metatron
  • This angel has several titles. Prince of Angels, Angel of the Covenant, Chancellor of Heaven. He’s the link between the Human and the Divine.
  •  He wrestled with Jacob.
  • and is the Watchman of the Night.
  • According to Kabbalah, Metatron led the the People of Israel into the desert.
  • Reportedly (?) he is the tallest angel in Heaven (perhaps that’s a metaphor)  and has been known to appear as a tower of fire.
  • Zoroastrians believe he is bigger than the world itself!
  • Many believe he is ranked higher than Michael or Gabriel.

RaphaelRaphael
  • This angel is first mentioned in the Book of Tobit.  ( a questionable text)
  • He is responsible for healing men’s wounds,
  • Thought to be one of the 3 angels who visited Abraham.
  • Healed Jacob after Metatron roughed him up.
  • Some believe he gave medical advice to Noah after the flood.
  •  Liturgical texts say Raphael guards the Tree of Life ( don’t confuse with the Tree of Knowledge).
  •  A few believe he is one of the 7 angels of the Apocalypse.
  • The SparkNotes version: Raphael is the angel of healing.

MichaelMichael
  • Translation: “who is as God.”
  • Islamic, Christian, and Jewish texts all agree that Michael is one of the greatest angels.
  • He is the angel of repentance and mercy.
  • Conqueror (sort of) of Satan
  • One of the angels who laid waste to the army at Sennacherib. ( Whole army–bam–just dead for no apparent reason–Jews win. )
  • Prevented Abraham, who was proving his obedience to God, from sacrificing his only son.
  • Appears as a burning bush.
  • Argued with Satan over the burial rites for Moses.
  • Holds the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven.
  • Destroyed Babylon
  • The above is just a small sampling of his deeds.
GabrielGabriel
  • “God is my strength.”
  • Angel of mercy, resurrection, death, and vengence
  • Along with Michael, he is the only angel mentioned by name in the Old Testament.
  • Oversees paradise (nice gig)
  • Sits at the left hand of God
  • Attributed with having 140 pairs of wings
  • Destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.
  • Rescued a few Holy men from incineration.
  • Was kicked out of Heaven for a bit because he did not do exactly as God ordered.
  • Gave Mary of Nazareth the good news.
  • Spoke to Joan of Arc
Angel fun fact:  Most angel names end with the suffix “el,” which translates as
“of God.”

 

Barbiel:
  • The angel for the month of October and February
  • Has the distinction of being one of 7 Electors (in the Underworld)  who is under the rule of Zaphiel ( aka, ruler of the Order of  Cherubim)
Jehudiel:
  • Rules the movements of the celestial spheres
  • Not always included in the archangel list

Barachiel/ Barakile/Barkiel:
  • The lightening of God
  • Ruler of February
  • Prince of the Order of Confessors
  • One of 4 ruling seraphim
  • Ruler of the planet Saturn and zodiac signs Scorpio and Pisces
  • One of 3 angels you want to call upon in a game of chance (The Vegas angel?)
  • Ruler/Prince of the 2nd Heaven

angel 6Satan ( before the Fall):

  • Some scholars believe that Satan and Lucifer and not one in the same. Lucifer is thought to refer to Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon.  Some believe that St. Jerome mixed up his reading of Isaiah 14:12. The mix-up is perpetrated by Milton in Paradise Lost.
  • The term is used to denote an office/position, not a specific angel
  • Hebrew name meaning “adversary”
  • Originally  ha-satan: cheif of seraphim, head of the Order of Virtues
  • The Talmud says he was created on the 6th day of creation
  • Has 12 wings instead of the “normal” 6
  • Prince of the power of air
  • Either took the form of a serpent in the Garden of Eden or used the serpent to tempt Eve
  • Not referred to as enemy of God until New Testament
  • By the way, there is no mention of fallen angels in the Old Testament.

 

 Related Posts: Engaging Enigmas
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The Archangels-2

angel 4

Angel week: Day 2

Yesterday’s blog gave a brief overview of Metatron, Raphael, Michael, and Gabriel.

Angel fun fact:  Most angel names end with the suffix “el,” which translates as “of God.”

The next 4 Princes of the celestial order are:

Barbiel:
  • The angel for the month of October and February
  • Has the distinction of being one of 7 Electors (in the Underworld)  who is under the rule of Zaphiel ( aka, ruler of the Order of  Cherubim)
Jehudiel:
  • Rules the movements of the celestial spheres
  • Not always included in the archangel list

Barachiel/ Barakile/Barkiel:
  • The lightening of God
  • Ruler of February
  • Prince of the Order of Confessors
  • One of 4 ruling seraphim
  • Ruler of the planet Saturn and zodiac signs Scorpio and Pisces
  • One of 3 angels you want to call upon in a game of chance (The Vegas angel?)
  • Ruler/Prince of the 2nd Heaven

angel 6Satan ( before the Fall):

  • Some scholars believe that Satan and Lucifer and not one in the same. Lucifer is thought to refer to Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon.  Some believe that St. Jerome mixed up his reading of Isaiah 14:12. The mix-up is perpetrated by Milton in Paradise Lost.
  • The term is used to denote an office/position, not a specific angel
  • Hebrew name meaning “adversary”
  • Originally  ha-satan: cheif of seraphim, head of the Order of Virtues
  • The Talmud says he was created on the 6th day of creation
  • Has 12 wings instead of the “normal” 6
  • Prince of the power of air
  • Either took the form of a serpent in the Garden of Eden or used the serpent to tempt Eve
  • Not referred to as enemy of God until New Testament
  • By the way, there is no mention of fallen angels in the Old Testament.

Related Posts: The Archangels; Angel Hierarchy

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Accessory Anxiety

accessoriesDressing for work in the wee hours of the morning might be easier if it were not for accessory anxiety.

One day it just happens! You realize you own more accessories than is manageable!

Accessories include:

  • Belts: Styles range from  wide, extra wide, skinny, hip, and waist. Sizes range from feelin’ skinny to  feelin’ chubby.
  • Scarves: Wrinkled, eternity, fringed, silk, long, extra long, and winter,
  • Necklaces: Oddly enough—or perhaps predictably—the perfect ( goes with everything) length remains allusive. Necklace styles: Refined, gold, silver, chunky, ethnic, elegant, casual, and art-festival find.
  • Rings: Cheap, funky, semi-precious, and precious
  • Bracelets: Cheap, funky, semi-precious, and precious
  • Watches: Yeah! I wear the same one everyday.

All this variety leaves me scrambling in the morning. Or dithering before going out. Or making last minutes selections before an event.

“What are you doing?” Hubby asks from the living room while checking his watch.
“I can’t find the right necklace for this outfit.”
“Just put on anything!”

The Horror!

Men just understand! Women have many clothing “looks” and different necklines with which to contend.

Hubby has 3 style options.
1. career
2. casual
3. work-out

Except for the work-out gear, his wardrobe is accessory-free! ( I’m fairly certain a water bottle and an energy chew are NOT accessories.)

I try to explain the problem but Hubby’s eyes just glaze over—like mine when he talks sports.

Different tops require different “looks.”  Jeans with a designer low-cut t-shirt require a different necklace than a peasant skirt and blouse. Duh!

A necklace hanging under my top looks dumb. If it’s too short, it leaves a big empty skin space between shirt and neck.

Accessories must coordinate. Must complement the outfit! Should add visual interest—I think it’s on page 58 of the Vogue Bible.

“Just wear the necklace I bought you for your birthday,” Hubby says.
“That’s a modern piece, these pants have a funky vibe.” 
“You make your life too complicated!” Hubby says as I hold different necklaces up to the outfit. “Just wear the same one all the time!”
“Excellent idea!” I respond. “I will cancel the 499  ESPN channels we pay extra for every month. One sports channel should be enough!”

One…two…three seconds pass.

“I think the real problem, honey, is that you don’t have enough accessories!”

Note: Photo is NOT representative of my accessory collection–I’m still looking for a suitable tiara.

Related Posts:Spring Cleaning; Spring Cleaning #2Closet Craziness; Surviving My PurseOde to StilettosDenim DistressPerfect School Bag; Drawer of Misfit CosmeticsWardrobe Malfunctions

Click  Amazon link for novels.

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The Merkabah Recruit. Available on Amazon.

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Need a visual? Click HERE for Pinterest pics.

A fresh kill. An ancient evil. And the only person capable of preventing the next murder is an unwitting and anxiety-prone recruit.

Divorced, depressed, and dissertation-less, Daphne Sites is stunned to learn that a unique empathic ability allows her to identify otherworldly life. So when a mystical  organization asks for her help, it’s difficult to refuse.
Serik Jalani is the man who must convince the reluctant recruit to assume an awesome mantle of responsibility. There’s only one way to do this. Reel her in slowly.
Except Daphne suspects Serik is not being entirely truthful. About the organization. About the mission. About his identity.
As Daphne attempts to keep her new life secret from two sassy sisters, one jealous ex-husband, and her Bimbo-Barbie neighbor, she struggles to embrace the mysteries of a cosmic technology and realize her own self-worth.

If Daphne hopes to stop the murderer she must first confront her biggest problem. Herself.

At a time when recent theories like Quantum physics confirms the existence of the fantastical, The Merkabah Recruit flirts with the links between treasured legend and scientific possibility. A story that blurs the shadowy line between myth and fact.

The 1st in a 5-part in series.

Click HERE for the first 8 chapters!

Lost Years

sam“Mom, do remember when I cut my first tooth?”
Nope.
“Hey Mom, how old was I when I took my first steps?”
Um…don’t recall.
“Yo Ma,  do you remember when we buried my pet lizard?”
You had a pet lizard?

My children call it senility ( for which I am far too young). I have a different name for the harrowing years when there were 4 young children running around the house.

The Lost Years!

The children were not lost–and that was no small feat, mind you–but there is a period of about 5 years ( maybe more) when I simply have very little memory of…anything.

Four children will do that to you!

Although…I do recall the following:
1. changing diaper after diaper after diaper after diaper after.. ad infinitum
2. endless loads of laundry
3. screaming and crying from the back seat ( kiddos)
4. screaming and crying from the front seat ( me)
5. puke and mucus ( good times)
6. running frantically through Target looking for the “one that got away”
7. hearing “clean-up in isle 7” and knowing which child was responsible
8. grocery shopping with 2 in the cart, one in a front pack, and “oh,crap, where’s the oldest?” ( see #6)
9. watching every Disney movie so many times the songs and characters continue to haunt my dreams.
10. my bare feet stepping on plastic army men/Barbie shoes/ Legos/ action figures ( difficult to see when one is carrying a mountain of laundry)
11. helping with homework while simultaneously nursing and making dinner
12. brightly colored plastic things in every room of the house
13. not dining out  because someone couldn’t sit down for more than 5 minutes at a time
14. driving to activity after activity after activity after activity after…”to infinity and beyond”
15. taking 10-15 minutes to harness, buckle, snap everyone into a car seat ( there was always a troublemaker who employed the evasive back-arching move)

 

“But Mom, don’t you remember the good times?” They ask after I rattle off the list of my fondest ( cough, cough ) memories.

Oh, sure! I lie. Lots of good times!  But I have much better times now that you’re older.

The oldest is lucky! My brain wasn’t so mushy with him. I even kept a baby book, wrote in it diligently,chronicled every tooth, cute word, adorable behavior– for the first year.

Then sis came along.  I bought a baby book for her, too.  It has: 1) an ultra sound photo; 2) a shower invitation; 2) hospital newborn footprint; and 4) a 3rd grade photo.

Children 3 and 4 have no baby book. So sad.

Sometimes when all the kiddos are together they like to drag out the photo album. Taking photos  wasn’t so simple then. One needed a camera..and film..and the film had to be developed. I’m surprised we have so many photos ( they enhance memory).

The time went by so fast! One day they’re in diapers and the next…

“Hey mom, who’s gonna change your diapers when you get old?”
You are!

The looks they give me?  Priceless! 

Related Posts:

Spa-ing

The verdant foliage at the spa.

The verdant foliage at the spa.

Some things never change! 2000 years ago, the ancient Romans cast off their tunics to luxuriate at the spa (aka, the Baths)  to gossip, drink wine, shop, and partake in an array of beauty rituals.

 

2013: We’re still doing the same thing. Oh sure, the products and services may have changed a wee bit, but the experience remains the same.

Ancient Romans bathed in 3 different pools–cold, warm, hot–covered their bodies in olive oil and had a slave scrape the skin clean. They used local clay as a sort of soap and were massaged by slaves.

OK, maybe a few things have changed, BUT the various pools, clay, and massage are identical.

Humans are predictable. Our luxuries and desires unchanged for thousands of years. On a recent trip to the spa I reflected on just this belief. ( I know, nerdy)

The following is a list of what to bring to maximize your spa experience (no toga or chariot required):

1. Friends and/or family: Better than social media, it’s social mudia! Nothing bonds quicker than a layer of mud between people. My advice: Leave the cell phone in the locker.

2. A sense of humor: Ego stays at home: A makeup-less face, mud-flecked hair, green goo-covered body, and matted hair strips you of all dignity.

3. Money: For indulging in all those extra beauty treatments and spa boutique purchases.

4. Trashy magazines: Excellent for poking fun at antics and fashion don’ts of the latest media darlings. Also acts as excellent 500 SPF sun block for face.

5. Gossip: What better way to wile away the time in the mineral baths, mud pond, moisture grotto, or lounge pool than a steady stream of trash talk about family and frenemies. ( It’s a word for a girl who is both friend + enemy= frenemy). It’s a girl thing!

Note: Romans got their juiciest gossip at the Baths! It was THE place for conspiracy and intrigue.

6. Sun screen: To block those warm Southern California rays.

7. Appetite: All that pampering produces a ravenous hunger.

8. Comb: Honestly, I forget one every single time. I drive home looking like a wild woman.

Did I leave anything out? Let me know!

Related Posts: Girlie to do list 1; Girlie to-do list 2; Gadget Girl;

 

Chocolate Birds Nests

Lauren ShaferGuest blogger and chocolate lover Lauren Shafer hijacked my blog today  to share her favorite Easter treat!
Lauren says:
Chocolate bird nests are super easy to make, not a lot of ingredients, and they taste amazing. I can’t take all credit for this recipe though. Technically, it’s my moms recipe, but I think mine are just as yummy!
My mom made these every Easter when I was a kid. She made several batches–one for each side of the family.
.
The big problem: Mom had a tough time saving them until AFTER the meal, because I would sneak in the kitchen and eat them. I had to! Once mom served them- they were gone in five minutes!
Making these always brings back memories of me and sis licking the bowl afterward. Good times!
After a few failed attempts and melt downs (I became upset because they didn’t look exactly like mom’s) I finally mastered the recipe. I’ve been making them ever since.
These are perfect for Easter or whenever you have a chocolate craving. Mom adds
peanuts, but in my opinion it’s a waste of space!  The more chocolate the better!
chocolate bird nests
Click Recipes on the navigation bar for more recipes!

Coconut Cream Eggs

Coconut Cream doesn’t get any better than this. Far better than ANY you’ll find in the store. This recipe is my grandmother’s–she’s 97 years old! She made them every year for Easter. When I first asked her for the recipe she wrote “no calories” at the bottom!  My grandmother would never lie!

The most challenging part of this recipe is hiding the eggs in the fridge from the kiddos or spouse until Easter!

coconut creameggs

Coconut cream eggs   PDF

Pesto Cucumber Salad

Fast! This recipe is so easy, it shouldn’t really be called a recipe. But it’s so good I had to share. We eat this at least twice a week at our house.
I use the pesto sauce from Costco, but most markets make excellent pesto these days.
And what should you do with the extra pesto sauce? Mix it with rice! Delicious!

cucumber

For more recipes click Recipes on the navigation bar.

Frittata Recipe

Eggs! Veggies! Cheese! Healthy stuff! 

A frittata is quick-easy and, like most of my recipes, doesn’t call for exact ingredients.

I usually serve it with a salad. ( Actually, that’s a gross misrepresentation– pointing to the bag of greens while saying “You want salad? There it is!” is how I “serve”)

You might note that there’s only 1/2 the frittata in the pic below. That’s because after removing it from the oven, I left the kitchen for several moments. BIG mistake!  When I returned, a hungry 19 yr old had already descended upon it!
Note: This can also be made without cheese for those who are lactose intolerant.

frittata

 

Related Posts: For more yummy food click Recipes on the navigation bar.

Vatican Vocabulary 2

vaticanThere exists more lore, legends, and conspiracy theories about the Vatican than the US Government! And everyone can agree–we all love the mystery and intrigue that comes with powerful and prestigious organizations.

One common papal myth is that the Pope never makes a mistake. This might have come about because of the mistaken notions about Papal Infallibility. The term refers to his issuing Church proclamations that are:  1) based on faith and morals;   2) applicable to the entire Church; 3) supported with full Papal authority, as opposed to his private personal beliefs.

Another myth is Saint Joan, the supposed female Pope of the 13th century. Apparently  there’s no actual proof of her ( besides the chair ) in the annals of Vatican documents. But hey! I’m always up for a good conspiracy theory about that myth!

Without further ado, here’s more Papal lexicon!

L thru Z

lappets

lappets

Lappets:  The two long strips of cloth that hang from the back of the Pope’s headpiece ( tiara)

Martyr: A person who dies for their religious belief. During the 1st century AD many Christians were tortured and killed by evil Roman emperors, thus being martyred.

Missal: A selection of scriptural passages and prayers used during mass.

Mortal: A sin so bad the consequence is Hell.

pallium

pallium

Pallium: The wide circular collar with front and back strips that the Pope wears over his vestments.

Pontiff: Another name for the Pope. Pre-Christianity the word referred to the highest priests.

Prorogation: Fancy word for putting off a decision or action. Stalling

Purgatory: Spiritual holding place to work off one’s venial (lesser) sins.

Sacrament: There’s 7 of them. 1) Baptism 2) Confirmation 3) Holy Eucharist 4) Penance  5) Sacrament of the Sick  6) Holy Orders  7) Matrimony

scapularmainScapular:  A cloth pendant necklace that has been blessed.

Scrutiny: One conclave vote

See: another word for Diocese

chair2Stella stercoraria/Porphyry Chair: Looks like a toilet seat  and is used to elevate the Pope. The myth is that the chair was used to prove the gender of the Pope, thereby preventing any more Pope Joan snafus-which, evidently, no real proof of such a woman Pope exists.

Strator: Christian leaders who act as helpers to the Pope. Originated when Constantine (first Christian Roman emperor) acted as a groom by leading the Pope’s horse by the bridle.

Synod: another word for council

Synoptic Gospels: Gospels of Mark, Matthew, and Luke are all  (pretty much) collaborative accountings

Venial: A sin that’s not so bad as to damn you to Hell.

Veneration: To revere or regard with great respect. A saint can be venerated but not worshipped.

Vicar: A representative.

The Catholic Church is in the thick of choosing another Pope. I wonder if the new Holy See will also have a twitter account?

Related Posts: Vatican Vocabulary