lightsIt’s THAT time of year! Time for Hubby to drag out the dusty boxes full of Christmas lights. It ain’t a pretty sight!

The photo you see is our neighbor’s light display!

“Honey, Our neighbor is STILL putting Christmas lights up!”
Hubby—who is not competitive at all ( cough, cough)— walks outside and waves to our over zealous, light-tastic neighbor. “This year, I’m gonna out light him!”
“Sure you are.”
“This year I mean it. I’m pullin’ out all the stops! I’ve drawn a diagram, bought more extension cords…”
Hubby proceeds to take down and unpack all the boxes labeled Christmas lights.
“This year, we’re gonna have the most lights!” He says while laying light strands across the yard.
The neighbor in question takes weeks to put up his lights. We have NO IDEA where he stores the stuff either—his garage just isn’t big enough.
Fast forward an hour…
“I can’t find the reindeer or the angel’s head. Think anyone will notice?”

Nah, no one will notice a headless angel!

“How does a  reindeer-sized box go missing?” 
I think I threw the reindeer out last year. Only its ass lit up—it looked so wrong.”
Last year, our teens had many colorful names for the booty-lit deer. Since this is a PG blog, I regrettably cannot repeat those hilarious crude epithets. They even made a song about it to the tune of Rudolph,The Red-nosed Reindeer.

Now, just so you know, there is NO POSSIBLE way my husband can compete with the retired (we think) carpenter across the street. But every year Hubby buys several more decorations. Inflatable Santa is his favorite. No assembly required.

This Saturday, Hubby—wearing golf clothes—tells me he will be stopping by the golf course on his way to buy more decorations.

Our Christmas light collection to date:

  • 3 boxes of semi-tangled icicle lights
  • 2 boxes of  blanket lights to throw over bushes
  • 1 inflatable Santa—who appears a bit on the ethnic side—Hubby says he’s tan.
  • 1 impossible to put together mechanical elves-on-teeter-totter
  • 1 angel with trumpet
  • a 5-ft lighted wreath that requires balancing on a ledge from a 2nd story window to hang—-Scary ( the precarious procedure used to hang it, not the wreath).
  • 1 snowman
  • As of 3 PM: one inflatable bear   

 I’ll try to classy the place up with a few poinsettia by the door.

Can’t wait to see what Hubby comes home with next.

Please, everyone, stay safe this Holiday Season.

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