Stupid Sayings

wisdomeSome aphorisms are spot on! Others are just plain stupid, ridiculous because they are so clearly false and illogical!

Hubby likes to spout trite sayings every now and again. I usually reply with a theatrical groan before pointing out why the saying is stupid. I think he just enjoys watching me throw a hissy fit!

Hubby’s 4 favorite sayings:

1. A body at rest, stays at rest: A body in motion, stays in motion. ( I don’t think this is an actual saying but he insists it is)
  • As any mom knows, it’s UNTRUE!  Sleeping babies wake up screaming, small toddlers run circles until collapsing with exhaustion.  I think it provides Hubby  an excuse not to move after he plants (notice the verb here) himself in front of the TV after dinner.
 2. Once you’re late five minutes, you might as well be late an hour.
  • This one gets him in the most hot water. I think he made up his own maxim. However, next time I take too long getting dressed I’ll use it on him. (payback’s a bitch)
 goat_1  3. If you ain’t cheating you’re not trying.                        Where this came from, I have no idea—except you can bet your life the person was a cheater who is either a politician or a press agent. Hubby says this just to get my goat. Not  appropriate to repeat to a teacher!
07.2004.pistons.billups 4. Luck beats skill every time. This saying is stupid only in the sense that life can be unfair.
  •  Hubby coached youth baseball and soccer for many years so he’s a firm believer in this truism. And it goes without saying ( which is stupid, because I just said it), that no matter what sport or business you’re in, when it come right down to it, everyone needs luck on their side.
  • Note: Luck is the residue of design (by Branch Rickey) is always my snappy comeback!

Other idiotic idioms !

1. It’s either sink or swim.
  • There’s another option, you know. It’s called floating—and that’s what we (or our projects) have to do sometimes.
2. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery 
  • See “if you ain’t cheating” above. This aphorism was either first spoken by a lazy, unoriginal imitator or a person who never had his idea/concept/look ripped off by a pretender.
  • In education we have another name for it: plagiarism.
3. More than you can shake a stick at.
  • “More” what ? Who/what/why are you shaking a stick? Is it a magic stick? is it voodoo? Is it a symbolic stick?
4. Live each day as if it’s your last ( YOLO = you only live once)
  • If this were my last day I would: eat chocolate, ice cream, cupcakes, and french fries;  ditch the job; spend all my money; stop editing my novel; not sleep. Oh yeah! A great and productive way to live your life!
5. Cat got your tongue? 
  • OK, maybe if the feisty feline is Grumpy Cat, this saying might have some merit, otherwise how does an animal with paws grasp your tongue?
6. Shit-eating grin.
  • This isn’t a saying but rather a common descriptor that’s just gross! Who would be grinning if they ate shit?

Related Posts:  History Behind Common SayingsRules for a Good Life; More Rules for a Good Life; Sarcastic Signs

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