Summoned to jury duty the other day with about 60 other civic minded citizens.
Made it all the way to the courtroom where I learned the case would take 3 weeks!
3 weeks?
I was hoping for a quickie! A week would be fine. Fodder for future blogs. A chance to observe the case through a fiction writer’s lens.
But 3 weeks???
I have a job! A job that requires my being present.
Much as I would enjoy hearing an interesting case, I’m pretty certain that unless Cousin Vinny was one of the attorneys I would probably make a bad juror.
Here’s why:
- I tend to roll my eyes
- I’ve been told I’m an elitist
- I get bored easily
- I’m impatient
- I “get it” the first time
- I see through manipulative rhetoric or gratuitous pandering
- I have a low tolerance for mindless stupidity
- I would probably browbeat the other jurors
- My vivid imagination would have me inventing all manner of wild scenarios concerning said crime
- I’m too antsy to sit in a chair all day (unless I’m writing)
- Frequent trips to the bathroom
- need to sip Starbucks mocha in order to cogitate (see above)
- loud stomach grumbling would distract attorneys and witnesses
- I might judge people on their choice of footwear
- My existentialistic leanings might leak out
- cellphone withdrawals may disturb other jurors
All joking aside, I was let go. Probably a good thing!
Here’s the trailer from 12 Angry Men. Notice they’re all donning a shirt and tie–which I didn’t see any of the prospective jurors wearing. I wonder the outcome if the movie/play had been titled 12 Pissed Off Women?
