Juror #1000

images (1)Summoned to jury duty the other day with about 60 other civic minded citizens.
Made it all the way to the courtroom where I learned the case would take 3 weeks!
3 weeks?

I was hoping for a quickie! A week would be fine. Fodder for future blogs. A chance to observe the case through a fiction writer’s lens.

But 3 weeks???

I have a job! A job that requires my being present.
Much as I would enjoy hearing an interesting case, I’m pretty certain that unless Cousin Vinny was one of the attorneys I would probably make a bad juror.

 

Here’s why:
  • I tend to roll my eyes
  • I’ve been told I’m an elitist 
  • I get bored easily
  • I’m impatient
  • I “get it” the first time
  • I see through manipulative rhetoric or gratuitous pandering
  • I have a low tolerance for mindless stupidity
  • I would probably browbeat the other jurors 
  • My vivid imagination would have me inventing all manner of wild scenarios concerning said crime
  • I’m too antsy to sit in a chair all day (unless I’m writing)
  • Frequent trips to the bathroom
  • need to sip Starbucks mocha in order to cogitate (see above)
  • loud stomach grumbling would distract attorneys and witnesses
  • I might judge people on their choice of footwear
  • My existentialistic leanings might leak out
  • cellphone withdrawals may disturb other jurors
All joking aside, I was let go. Probably a good thing!

Here’s the trailer from 12 Angry Men. Notice they’re all donning a shirt and tie–which I didn’t see any of the prospective jurors wearing. I wonder the outcome if the movie/play had been titled 12 Pissed Off Women?

 

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