Tag Archives: mom blog

Homey Grown

WARNING: Hubby kidnapped my computer so he could “write” a blog.

Hubby’s writing is limited to emails, specs, payroll checks, and signing birthday cards, so I was very suspicious.

Here’s a censored version of our ever-so-friendly conversation.

Hubby: I’m writing a blog.
Me: You don’t have a blog.
Hubby: I’ll use yours.
Me: What will you write?
Hubby: Write? YOU’RE the writer! I’m just gonna post photos.

 

(I know what your thinking–that’s what Facebook is for.)

Me: Of what?
Hubby: The vegetables and fruit that I grow versus the stuff you buy at the market.  I’m calling it HOMEGROWN vs HOMEY-GROWN.

 

So…direct from HOMEY FARMS.

 

Homegrown Apple

Homegrown Apple

Homey-Grown

Homey-Grown

 

 

 

 

Home grown peach

Home grown peach

 

Homey-Grown peach

Homey-Grown peach

 

 

 

 

 

 

Homegrown lemon

Homegrown lemon

 

Homey-Grown lemon

Homey-Grown lemon

 

 

 

 

 

Homegrown pepper

Homegrown pepper

 

Homey-Grown pepper

Homey-Grown pepper

 

 

 

 

 

 

Home grown zucchini

Home grown zucchini

 

Homey Grown zuccini

Homey Grown zucchini

 

 

 

 

 

 

Related links: Hubby Funnies

Mom’s Obstacle Course

sarcasm
Wake up in the morning, ready to go
got lots to do, can’t start off  slow.
With only twenty-four hours
I’m gonna need some super powers!

 

Race downstairs, laundry in my arms
before I even hear the sound of the alarm.
Throw the pile of duds in the washing machine,
but forgot the shirt that was stained green.

 

Before returning upstairs, I spy a package nearby
so I scope it up with a very loud sigh.
Toss it in kid’s room, then stand in the hall.
Wonder why I was up here–oh! bugger all!
Jog downstairs, now what was I doing?
guess I better start the coffee to brewing.
Pour a cup of coffee, eat a bite of toast
oops, maybe I better defrost that roast.

 

Look for the crock pot, see the dog food instead
fill the pooch’s bowl so she can be fed.
Would like to read the recipe for tonight’s meal
but can’t locate my glasses, what an ordeal!
Find ’em atop a stack of mail,
get a paper cut and break a nail.
Nothin’ like sorting through bills
for good times and a  financial  thrill!

 

Laundry, errands, cleaning, and chores
with so much to do, I’m never bored.
Leaping and skipping from task to task
never remember what I did last.
I’m a multi-tasking flunky, who needs to cut back.
Errands and chores are nothin’ but overachiever’s crack!
Must take some time to enjoy a healthy fruit snack.

 

The day is over, I still have lots to do
tomorrow’s another day of chore deja vu.

 

Related Links: Link to Bad Poetry; Link to Mom Musings

Attack of the Clutter

rabbitsStuff–knick knacks, doodads, duplicates, gadgets, equipment, gear, junk–multiplies like rabbits! Before you know it–BAM–you’ve got clutter!

One day you look around the casa and think, Yikes! Working and writing have left no time to manage the clutter that accumulates in our house. Unchecked, the clutter begins to nest in bookcases, crawl over tables, and breed in baskets!

Stuff-terminator to the rescue! Mom! Seems Mom has a low threshold for clutter these days! Mom’s got more important things to do than rearrange stuff!  Plus, Mom’s brain can’t breathe with the accumulation!

The clutter straw that broke the mama camel’s back happened the other day.

I watched our neighbors move out of their house.  It took them days and days and uhaultruckloads and u-hauls…and a garage sale. People drove up to the house all morning long rifling through the piles and piles of STUFF in the driveway and garage. They had a lot of stuff. A 3-car garage with no room for a car–that’s how much stuff!

If you’ve ever moved you know how much stuff we accumulate over the years. And as you’re packing all that stuff, you might have wondered, do I really need this?  Do I like this vase? How many potholders do I need? Why the hell do I have a dancing stuffed turtle?  Why am I keeping this hideous pot? How did I end up with so many mismatched sets of sheets?

Sometimes it takes watching someone move out of their home to realize the time has come to de-clutter your own house! I vow to be ruthless!

The task will be daunting! There’s no way it can be done in a day! I go from room to room, peer into closets, open drawers, stare into the depths of the cupboards. Where did all this SHIT come from?

“What are you doing?” asks Hubby.
“I need to get rid of all the clutter. I don’t want to move all this shit!”
“Are we moving? Are YOU moving?” He looks a bit concerned.
“Did you see how much crap the neighbors have?” I point in the general direction.
“Oh, yeah. Makes you realize you much useless stuff you buy.”  He blocks the door with his body. “My office is fine. Don’t come in here!”
I smile sweetly–he has to leave sometime–but I don’t remind him of this fact,

 

After a thorough assessment of the house, I decide to maybe…maybe tackle one room at a time. And one closet in particular may take days. One thing for certain, this task is best done in stealth mode. No teens begging me to keep a dust-covered stuffed animal in the back of their closet.  No Hubby trying to second-guess my give-away/trash choices.

 I vow to  rid the house of anything 
  • I deem ugly ( vases, decor, knickknacks)
  • haven’t used in years
  • unusable, unwearable, unfixable
  • no longer my style

Zen! I want my house to be a bastion of Zen!  Wish me luck!

Related Posts:Spring Cleaning; :Closet Craziness; Spring Cleaning #2

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Swimsuit Sorrows

“You got mail from Victoria’s Secret!” I shout to my daughter as I wave a small envelope.
She bounds down the stairs and swipes it from my hands. “Oh! It’s my new bikini!”

Bikini? I’m holding a small flat envelope in my hands.

She rips open the paper and pulls out…..
2 dots and a dash.
“Adorable, right?” she says holding up the pink body floss.

I owned such a swimsuit like that once. I remember it clearly. It was a red and white tiger striped bandeau style with teeny tiny bottoms.

Damn, I looked good in that swimsuit.

“You look sad.” Sweet daughter says. 
“I’m just having swimsuit flashbacks–remembering when I could wear bikinis like that.”
She looks skeptical.
“I need a new swimsuit–go shopping with me.”
“No way, mom. You’re gonna get in the dressing room and start ranting and raving about swimsuit designers. Then you’re gonna complain that you can’t work, write, blog, cook, blah blah and still spend 3 hours at the gym.”
“I’ll buy you Starbucks.”
“OK.”

Hubby walks by. “I’ll come bikini shopping with you.”

“Don’t let him come, mom. He thinks you look good in everything!” 

Here’s a sampling of my daughter’s remarks  at the department store.

“The flower print is too big.”
“The stripes are going the wrong way.”
“Hideous.”
“That’s too pink.”
“You really need a tan.”
“Not in public.”
“Too old lady.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“That’s really retro. You need red lips–you don’t look good with red lips.”
“Too Vegas.”
“It doesn’t look good from this angle.” ( she’s looking straight at me)
“Maybe if you did some stomach crunches.”
“Maybe we should just find a great sarong–so you can cover it all up.”

 

We finally find a figure-enhancing swimsuit that doesn’t look half bad.

“I’m sorry, mom,” daughter says as we sip our coffees. “When you get rich, you can hire a personal trainer and chef, and just focus on you.”

I give her hug. “OK.”

Mmmm…focus on me.  Sounds good, but instead of going to the gym, I would much rather take a painting class…

Related links :Multi-tasking Flunky; Gracious LivingJunk MailCloset Craziness; Surviving My PurseOde to Stilettos; Girlie to-do list #1Girlie to-do list #2Sequestration at my houseMom’s Smoke Signals

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5th Amendment–Family Style

shshshTaking the 5th!

Pleading the 5th amendment is useful if you’re a politico or scapegoat or tipster sitting in the Hot Seat!

While driving to work, I listened as the radio broadcast a government employee invoking the 5th and I thought, “Well, that came in handy.”

In case you were absent the day they taught the 5th amendment in school:

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation

Too bad we can’t invoke the right in work situations or in our personal lives.

Imagine how much we could get away with!

  • Mom: Who broke the vase? Kiddo: I take the 5th.
  • Dad: Who filled the vodka bottle with water?  Teen: My government teacher says I can plead the 5th so I don’t  incriminate myself.
  • Wife: Why didn’t you remember our anniversary?  Hubby: Taking the 5th and calling to make dinner reservations right now.
  • Boss: Why did the client go to our competitor? Employee: I invoke the protective rights of the  5th amendment while I call the HR department
  • Teacher: Why didn’t you turn in the assignment on time? Student: Not only do I take the 5th, I’m telling my mom you’re prying into my personal life.
  • Mom: Why did you pee in the house?   Dog: Woof.

Of course, the moment someone pleads the 5th amendment, we know or assume the person might just as well have shouted:

guilty

 

But wait, you say. It’s wrong to assume guilt–that’s not what the amendment was written for at all!  One thing is certain: Something funky is going on!

I stay far away from all political discussions (on my blog at least);

however, as any parent can attest, a child who doggedly remains silent–and is NOT the guilty party–is really covering for someone else! Usually a sibling or friend! Which in Parentland requires a long lecture and cajoling to tell “the truth.”

We still don’t know which kiddo filled the vodka bottle with water. *sigh* Maybe one day.

Good thing the home is not a court room!

What do you think? If someone pleads the 5th, nolo contendre ( I refuse to agree or deny), or remains silent on an issue what is your instinctive response?

Related Links:  Multi-tasking FlunkyJunk MailCloset CrazinessSequestration at my houseMom’s Smoke Signals; Gracious Living

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Empty Nest

empty nestThe last child graduated from high school. A mile stone! Not for my daughter–we expected her to graduate–but for mom.

“Are you sad?” asks Hubby. “Your baby is moving out and going to college.”

Sad? Um…

My life has been consumed with children for many years. Children that I had to:

  • cook for
  • nag at
  • scold
  • drive around
  • be exasperated by
  • worry about
  • give money to
  • catch in lies
  • make emergency runs to wherever ( school, game, hospital, work, friend)

Sad?  Not so much.. I do feel some relief.

Hubby gives me a worried look. “Most moms are sad when the last one leaves home.”

Why aren’t I sad? His statement gives me a fair amount of angst!

And then it hits me!  The children have worn me out! After 27 years of kiddos, Mom is just plum tuckered out! Wiped out! Run-down!

27 years of mom…mom…mom…mom…mom ( young parents, that summons never ends).

Mom needs a few years to recuperate before grandchildren start arriving.

terminatorAnd it’s not like they’re really gone! Like the Terminator who says, “I’ll be back,” this is only the end of Season 1 of Life with Children.

Maybe years ago, before the advent to social media and techno-everything, parents probably felt  the empty nest syndrome more profoundly.

Texting, Instagram, Facebook mean the umbilical cord is still attached—-a cyber-umbilical cord! Of course, if they de-friend me that’s a different story!

Quick true story:
Mom: Why did you defriend me on Facebook?
Son: I don’t want you to see what I’m doing!
Mom: Oh, but you have no problem letting a future employer see your shenanigans?
Son: Oh! Hadn’t thought of that! OK, look, I’m re-friending you right now. **mutters under breath, damn**

And I’m 100% certain that the above bulleted points NEVER  end for a mom–I mean, that’s what mom’s do, right?

So, what’s really changed?

I still receive their parking tickets, mail, jury summons, W2’s, and junk mail. They still come in, head straight for the fridge, and forage for snack food.

“I think we should turn the front bedroom into my office or maybe an exercise room,” I say to Hubby after graduation.

“I can see you’re all choked up!” Hubby scratches his chin in wonder.

The nest may be empty, my little birdies flown the coop, but the time has come for this old chick to spread her wings and fly.

And it’s time for my hatchlings to be catching their own worms!

Related Posts:Multi-tasking Flunky; Gracious Living; Junk MailCloset Craziness; Surviving My PurseOde to Stilettos; Girlie to-do list #1Girlie to-do list #2Sequestration at my houseMom’s Smoke Signals

 

Gracious Living

fruit waterLiving simply. Gracious living. Pinterest Perfect! Many a magazine and website are devoted to making your home environment a joy to behold.

A good idea. In theory!

I can do that, I think while drooling  over the Pinterest Pretties and magazine spreads.

Ha! My attempts never hit the mark.

  • Glass pitchers of sparkling water filled with strawberries and cucumber–not so pretty with old fruit
  •  Cupcakes with a fluffy swirl of icing and beautiful garnishment at the top–require a steady decorating hand and the perfect consistancy of frosting
  • Sumptuous beds with mounds of luxurious ( and perfectly placed ) pillows–looks  like a crazy lady threw the pillows on mine
  • A plate of artfully presented food–wasted on hungry hubby
  • A whimsical and verdant garden–too much time to maintain
  • a vase of colorful tulips–mine droop (unattractively) after a day

All that eye candy!

It’s a sickness, gazing upon a snapshot of some artfully-enhanced item. Someone should stop me!

Why?  Because coveting all that Pretty  just makes me realize how plain my everyday life is . I know…whine whine…1st World Problem.

Maybe it’s just me, but in today’s world when many of us race through life at rocket speed, juggle jobs, kiddos, and home—who has time for that? I just end up feeling pressured to make everything look whimsical and stunning! I know I would enjoy it–although the hubby could care less.

teaMany women, especially if they tend to be empathic, tend to need those little niceties in their life. Sight, sound, touch, scent–the beauty is a joy in which we revel.

The aroma of our lotions must make us smile, coffee smells divine in a pretty mug, and a cake tastes better if its wondrously decorated.

On occasion, I remind myself to take life a little slower, take joy in simple pleasures…take time to admire a single bloom in a vase, enjoy a cup of tea in an antique porcelain tea cup, delight in the lingering scent of an aromatic candle.

I have the best intentions—I do—but Time flies!

Working moms are lucky to inhale a cup of morning coffee—let alone bask in its aroma and enjoy the froth in a picturesque mug. Stay at home moms fare no better—toddlers and babies need constant attention.

“Mom, stop and smell the roses,” my daughter says.

Oh sure—she didn’t  drive to the nursery, buy the plant, nag husband to plant the bush, dig the hole, fertilizer and water the plant, and—well, you get the picture.

After a particularly shiny-pretty-fanciful Pinterest photo  I vow–yet again– to indulge in some gracious living.

I promise to:

  • have a bouquet of flowers for my desk (at work)
  • drink my morning coffee from a  beautiful mug
  • take time to make the dinner look Pinterest Perfect
  • sit in the backyard, sip fresh mint tea, and watch the clouds
  • fill my home with fresh flowers
  • throw out all the ugly freebie mugs
  • drink wine from my best wine glass

lemonaidOne day, I tell myself, one day when I have nothing pressing to do. Ironically enough, now that I have a few of the resources and spare cash for some lifestyle upgrades, I don’t have the time!

My solution? I stick a sprig of rosemary in my lemonade. Delicious!

 

Related Links: Mom  Musings

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Mom Power

Experienced Mom lesson #2

By the time the children are teenagers and older, most moms feel fairly confident in their mom skills. They should. After 20 years or so, moms have heard it all, seen it all, and “been there, done that.”

If I hear a new mom complaining or wondering about some small child woe, I pipe right in with all the wisdom of my 20+ years of mothering.

New moms might not like hearing the truth, but hey! I’m just trying to help!

mom10jpgHere’s what I’ve learned so far ( and I know I have a whole lot more learning ahead when my children have children of their own.)

  • Every stain can be removed! The question is how long are you willing to work at it?
  • You must learn to multi-task or nothing will ever get done
  • If there’s a sharp corner in your home a toddler will fall into it.
  • Don’t buy white-upholstered furniture.
  • Always have enough gas in the car to drive to the emergency room.
  • Don’t tell siblings to “love each other.” They’ll just rebel. Allow that feeling to grow on its own. It may take many years.
  • Work on perfecting “The Look” while they are very young. It serves a mother well when children need to be reprimanded/warned quietly in public.
  • You cannot treat your children equally because they are different. The exception: When they are younger you MUST buy each the exact same number of Christmas gifts. When they are older—beware! They will add up $$$ amounts in their head.
  • If children are permitted to get away with sassing, disobedience, & disrespect when they are 2-yrs old—it will be virtually impossible to change the learned behavior when they hit their teens. What’s “cute” when they’re little will prove disastrous when  older.
  • Don’t cave in to food demands.You’ll only create picky eaters.
  • Children lie. Teenagers lie. Young adults lie.
  • Moms need to lie to their children sometimes.
  • Learn the body language indicators each child has when they lie.  NEVER tell them how you know. NEVER.
  • Children learn from what you DO and how you ACT. Every day. Every hour. Every second. That means you must be a role model. (Scary, right?)
  • Being the “mean mom” takes courage and will break your heart but you have to do it.
  • Be prepared to be hated.
  • Your child shouldn’t be your friend until they are an adult.
  • Don’t  think that boys are “this way” and girls are “that way.” Personality determines traits more than gender.
  • Teach children to do things for themselves.
  • Make them do a chore/task over until they get it right! Not completing the task or doing it poorly is just their way of getting out of it in the future.
  • Don’t do their homework for them. As a teacher, I can assure you that your child was   taught the skill in class before it was assigned as homework. Maybe next time they’ll pay attention.
  • Let your child experience failure. Failure is necessary in life—without it we would never learn anything.
  • Use humor when possible.
  • Pick your battles carefully.
  • Teenagers will go to great lengths to get a rise out of you. Don’t fall for it. Green hair? Whatever.
  • Don’t argue with them. A broken rule has consequences. End of discussion.
  • Give lots of hugs.
  • Use humor. Frequently.

Remember, you may not see the rewards for being the best mom you can be for many years.

Any experienced mom wisdom you’d like to share?

Related Posts: Mom Musings

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What a Mom Wants

daffodils“Hey, mom! What do you want for Mother’s Day?” Well, that’s a loaded question! I want lots of stuff, none of which is for sale. I want —and this may not be representative of mothers everywhere:

  • world peace
  • my children to be happy adults with fulfilling jobs and who find love with a special someone
  • my pre-baby body back  ( This will require serious cash. )
  • a lifetime supply of shoulder massages
  • healthy children
  • the return of my once calm and stress-free personality ( they refuse to believe that I was once easy-going )

When I had 4 little ones running around ( now I have 4 driving around— I don’t know which is more frightening) —all I really wanted for Mother’s Day was peace and quiet! Back then, I wanted to be alone. I can’t be the only one, right? Right? As the years passed, the kiddos wanted to DO SOMETHING on Mother’s Day. Translation: Take us somewhere fun where you can pretend to have fun with us. Now, however, the children are grown and honor me by making an appearance. They bring cards, flowers, Starbucks, gift certificates, and often cook me dinner. We might watch a favorite movie together or play Scrabble. (Scrabble gets vicious at our house!) What they don’t understand is that I don’t need a gift nor do I need them to show up on that particular day. Why?  Because they give me gifts all year long. True gifts. Gifts that make mom proud! What’s a True Mom Gift?

A True Mom Gift is when one of them:
  • takes time out of their busy schedule to help me with something that require many hours
  • washes my car without asking
  • calls to tell me “You were right about [ add wisdom or advice here  ].”
  • says “I miss you”
  • lands a job/is admitted to college/gets an A/graduates/buys a house
  • does the right thing
  • is a considerate, thoughtful adult
  • is respectful and kind (even if I’m throwing a hissy fit about something)
  • does something nice for one of their siblings
  • says something nice about one of their siblings
  • gives me a hug for no reason
  • brings Starbucks without asking
  • laughs at my jokes
  • tells me my blog cracks them up
  • reveals that they admire me
  • shares a secret
  • offers to make dinner
  • makes a surprise visit
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not opposed to nor would I ever turn down a gift card or present,
so just in case…

gift certificate   Related Posts: Mom MusingsTeenage DaughtersLondon CallingSnack Happy Son Goes to CostcoSequestration at my houseFirst HouseProm poemTeenagers are useful; blog ender 2

Teenage Daughters

Daughters are special–any mother will agree. There is a feminine bond that develops–eventually. A kinship of womanly wiles and woes that are shared over the decades–hopefully.

Most of us are familiar with the saying: A son is your son until he takes a wife, a daughter is your daughter for the rest of your life.

This unique bond takes many years to develop, growing and thriving if nurtured.

S 2jpgWhen our daughters are toddlers, we put them in ruffles and bows–our little real-live dress-up dolls. They don’t complain too much at that age.

Elementary age daughters make us remember our own childhoods. Soccer practice, softball, riding lessons, dance lessons–my daughters had a wide variety– I was a modern mom! And modern moms understand the many ways that sports teaches a girl important skills and life lessons.

Next comes the pre-teen gawky years. Our daughters feel the need to be different than mom, to establish their own identity. This is where the trouble begins.

The early teen years are the most challenging–at least, that seems to be the general consensus.

Our daughters experiment with make up ( heavy black eyeliner, green eye shadow) and hair color.

Expect:
  •  temper tantrums
  • moodiness
  • door slammming
  • glaring

and that’s just from mom!

The teenage years are when a mom shows her daughter the ‘art of pimple concealment’ and commiserates when she complains that her hair sticks to lip gloss. We sympathize when ‘that time of the month’ comes at the worst possible time. We agree whole heartedly that “boys are stupid” and explain the tragic consequences of washing jeans with lipstick still in the pocket.

We may demonstrate age-old flirting techniques, like the classic hair flip, but more than likely we’ll send them back to their room for an outfit change. “You are not going to school in that!”

True story: My 15-yr old and I were walking through Macy’s one afternoon when an older woman stopped us to say how much we resembled one another.

I turned to my daughter. “I look beautiful!”
“I’m hideous!” she cried, ending her good mood for the day.

S 1By the time our daughters are 17, and if we are really, really lucky, they have outgrown the “I hate mom”  stage… I don’t know , maybe it has something to do with their needing vast sums of money for all those senior activities!

Finally, we can:
  • have fun at the make up counter and give one another honest opinions about a new product
  • laugh in the dressing room without anyone taking offense ( “That outfit is awful,mom”)
  • dish about “boys” and how their minds think ( or don’t )
  • discuss the importance of finding fabulous shoes we can still walk in
  • promise to share a darling evening bag
  • convince each other of the need for yet another new fangled curling iron
  • both agree that Johnny Dep is hot!

Oh sure, my daughters don’t always listen to me! (Although my oldest noted the other day that everything I ever told her was 100% correct.)

All that female bonding aside, there are a few serious consequences of having a teen daughter in the house.Things go missing!

Important female things!

  • expensive hair treatments
  • hair bands or barrettes
  •  teasing comb
  • nail polish and anything related to nail care
  • cotton balls ( Hubby still has no idea why a woman uses so many)
  • razors ( I buy a pack of 100 at Costco–the pack is good for about 2 months!)
  • bronzer
  • perfume
  • make-up brushes (“Buy some for me or I’ll keep using yours!”)
  • clothes ( if you’re both about the same size)

Truth be told, daughters make us appreciate our own mothers!

Daughters do wonderful things. Not the wonderful things you expected them to do. Different things. Astonishing things. Better than you ever dreamed.–Marion C. Garrett

There’s nothing wrong with teenagers that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.–Author Unknown

A daughter is a new beginning
A daughter is your excuse for making a doll’s house,
A daughter is an awful reminder of the way you behaved at fourteen.
A daughter is the person to whom all that dusty stuff in the attic belongs.
A daughter is the person you thought you would stop worrying about when she hit twenty-one. 
But who is still worrying you silly at forty-five.–Pam Brown

 

An end note: Both daughters will ask why I selected “that” photo!

Related Posts: Mom MusingsLondon Calling; Snack Happy Son Goes to CostcoSequestration at my houseFirst HouseProm poemTeenagers are useful;

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Snack-happy Son Goes to Costco

“I’m off to Costco! Any requests?”  I shout from the  family room.
Thump-thump-thump. Footsteps tread down the stairs.
“I’m goin’ with you, mom,” teen son informs me.
My eyes narrow, instantly suspicious. “Why?”
“I’m hungry. There’s no food in this house!”

 

Definition for no food: lack of munchies, microwaveable  fast food, and/or cans of chili.
Note: Vegetables, fruit, pasta, rice, and frozen meat products are available in refrigerator/freezer.

I hand son the keys and tell him to drive. Mmmm…it  will be nice for someone to push the 2-ton cart and load the heavy boxes into the car’s trunk.

Warning: Do not take a hungry teenager to Costco! Especially a ravenous son!

Our Costco conversation:

“We need another one,”  he says, pointing to the 8-pack in my hand.
“I am not buying 20 dollars worth of canned chili!”
“It’s my daily snack!” he hoists three 8-packs into the cart. “How ’bout these?”

He pulls a 12-pack of over-priced vegetable & fruit individual serving-size smoothies from cold storage. “I take these to class! Sis drinks them too! We need 2 cases.” Into the cart they go. “I’m so glad I came. You never get the good stuff.”

Good stuff= over-priced processed food/drink.

The packages and multi-packs are stacked high in the cart. My inner calculator has long since crashed. (10…20…15…12…14…oh, forget it.)

Son at costcoAt the register, he gleefully sets the grub on the conveyor belt. “I’m starving! Can I stop at the food court for lunch?”

As if spending a zillion dollars on food wasn’t enough, we wheel the cart to the snack bar outside where he orders a gigantic sandwich.

The Good: He loaded and unloaded our haul. And put the food in the cupboards.

The Bad: He bought a calorie-laden smoothie for me. I had to drink it.

The Ugly: My pantry is filled with cans of chili.

Related Posts: Sequestration at my houseQueen of T.PWanted: Food FairyImpatient Me: Life in the Fast Lane; Mom’s Smoke Signals

London Calling


buckingham guard While mom slogs away
editing 2nd novel, writing 3rd, & teaching, most-fortunate 1st daughter is enjoying an all-expense paid trip to England and Paris! ( courtesy of beneficent grandma)
So direct from fabulous, oh-so-chic London, 1st daughter kidnapped my blog to provide some jet-setting insight!
london street viewOMG! Public transport! Amazing! It’s essential here and no matter your social class or neighborhood, everyone uses it. Hands down, the oyster card is the best way for getting around London. Buy it weekly (£35) – and you can use it on any subway or bus. Also, everything is super clean and well- managed. I definitely recommend the public transportation for seeing the city.
 
london bridgeThe Fashion! Londoners certainly like variety! It was 55 degrees and you will see shorts and flip flops or fur vests. And scarves. Lots of scarves. And flat shoes–hellloooo, US buyers! Bring in some fashion forward flats for us on-the-move girls.
While doing the tourist sightseeing thing, I  also checked out the locals. The current looks:
  •  blazer with boyfriend jeans, bright flats mixed with bright patterned scarf–notice mine in the photo?
  •  jean shorts with tights and some wedge booties
  •  almost anything goes.  
  • The H& M in London is to die! (Mom, send more $$. LOL)                                                                                      Whatever they wear, the Brits rock their ensembles with confidence.
 
s w beerEveryone warned me how expensive Europe is–because of the exchange rate— but I find the prices are on par with those in the states. I don’t feel like I’m paying the astronomical fees that everyone was talking about.
 
Exchange rates: Do not go to your local bank before the trip. They over charge for the exchange. Local London banks compete with better exchange rates. You end up saving much more. I bought another glass of beer with my savings!
Thanks for letting me takeover your blog, mom. Can’t wait for Paris!

Multi-tasking Flunky

Confessions of a Multi-tasking Flunky

Carpe latte3Life moves at warp speed. Multi-tasking skills are required to keep up with everything! Writing-Blogging-Teaching, the hours dash by in a frantic blur.

I try to multi-task, but end up making more work for myself.  Frequent do-overs are required, which is sooo not efficient! I can’t be the only one who fails at effective multi-tasking, right?

Here’s a quick list of dumb stuff I do while thinking-plotting-talking- writing-blogging- texting- posting-tweeting-creating.

  • Applying hand lotion before walking out the door–oops! Can’t turn the doorknob!
  • Not checking to see if reading glasses are in my purse before leaving the house—nah, I didn’t need to read anything today.
  • Putting a meal in the oven only to forget about it while completing other tasks. “What’s burning?” Aw, damn!
  • Never remembering if I closed the garage door and looping the neighborhood to find out.
  • Forgetting to include the email attachment before hitting SEND.
  • Leaving the grocery list at home. (A photographic memory would come in handy.)
  • Neglecting to hit SEND on a text, then wondering why the recipient didn’t reply.
  • Forgetting to gas the car after work, which means filling it at 6 am.
  • Asking someone a question and not listening to the answer.
  • Looking for reading glasses—that are on my head.
  • Taking leftovers home, shoving them in the fridge, and never eating them.
  • Writing to-do lists and promptly misplacing them.
  • Putting a load of clothes in the wash and leaving it there for days.
  • Misplacing the cell phone. I wonder if there is Clapper app I could install?
  • Neglecting to transfer the important items when changing my purse–like my house key.
  • Never tightening the lid on the water bottle. This is the most expensive misstep of all because the technology goes for a refreshing dip and Apple gets more of my money.

Hubby and kiddos could probably add a few others—and they tried—but my snippy-sassy reply just sent them running!

Related Posts: Random Realities

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Accessory Anxiety

accessoriesDressing for work in the wee hours of the morning might be easier if it were not for accessory anxiety.

One day it just happens! You realize you own more accessories than is manageable!

Accessories include:

  • Belts: Styles range from  wide, extra wide, skinny, hip, and waist. Sizes range from feelin’ skinny to  feelin’ chubby.
  • Scarves: Wrinkled, eternity, fringed, silk, long, extra long, and winter,
  • Necklaces: Oddly enough—or perhaps predictably—the perfect ( goes with everything) length remains allusive. Necklace styles: Refined, gold, silver, chunky, ethnic, elegant, casual, and art-festival find.
  • Rings: Cheap, funky, semi-precious, and precious
  • Bracelets: Cheap, funky, semi-precious, and precious
  • Watches: Yeah! I wear the same one everyday.

All this variety leaves me scrambling in the morning. Or dithering before going out. Or making last minutes selections before an event.

“What are you doing?” Hubby asks from the living room while checking his watch.
“I can’t find the right necklace for this outfit.”
“Just put on anything!”

The Horror!

Men just understand! Women have many clothing “looks” and different necklines with which to contend.

Hubby has 3 style options.
1. career
2. casual
3. work-out

Except for the work-out gear, his wardrobe is accessory-free! ( I’m fairly certain a water bottle and an energy chew are NOT accessories.)

I try to explain the problem but Hubby’s eyes just glaze over—like mine when he talks sports.

Different tops require different “looks.”  Jeans with a designer low-cut t-shirt require a different necklace than a peasant skirt and blouse. Duh!

A necklace hanging under my top looks dumb. If it’s too short, it leaves a big empty skin space between shirt and neck.

Accessories must coordinate. Must complement the outfit! Should add visual interest—I think it’s on page 58 of the Vogue Bible.

“Just wear the necklace I bought you for your birthday,” Hubby says.
“That’s a modern piece, these pants have a funky vibe.” 
“You make your life too complicated!” Hubby says as I hold different necklaces up to the outfit. “Just wear the same one all the time!”
“Excellent idea!” I respond. “I will cancel the 499  ESPN channels we pay extra for every month. One sports channel should be enough!”

One…two…three seconds pass.

“I think the real problem, honey, is that you don’t have enough accessories!”

Note: Photo is NOT representative of my accessory collection–I’m still looking for a suitable tiara.

Related Posts:Spring Cleaning; Spring Cleaning #2Closet Craziness; Surviving My PurseOde to StilettosDenim DistressPerfect School Bag; Drawer of Misfit CosmeticsWardrobe Malfunctions

Click  Amazon link for novels.

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Junk Mail

junkmail“Bring in the wheelbarrow, honey!”                                    “Why?” Hubby manages to turn his head away from whatever critical sports game is on ESPN.              “It’s time to sort through the junk mail!”                                            “Oh, that!” He waves his hand at the mountain of mail atop the table in the foyer.

A one week’s accumulation. 

One week!

Save the trees! I think flipping through the paper pyramid.

This week’s cache:

  •  Catalogs from stores I’ve never heard of
  • Catalogs from the big department stores (OK, I’ll peak at the glossy Nordstrom Summer Spectacular)
  • Flyers for Buy 1/Get1 or ½  Off or Tuesday Kids Eat Free
  • Just Sold! Real estate flyers with smiling agents
  • Faux handwritten letters from someone who claims they want to buy my house
  • Sheets of paper advertising a variety of services
  • Reminders that a Good Will pick-up is scheduled in our neighborhood next week
  • Announcements for the Biggest Sale of the Year
  • Invitations for credit cards

How am I suppose to find the REAL mail? You know…the paper invoices for all those bills I pay on-line?

Wait? What’s this? Another parking ticket?  My older children seem to acquire these with alarming frequency. “But I didn’t know it was a no-parking space!  I’m broke until payday! I’ll pay you back. Promise!”

Too many years ago–when I was in high school– our teachers told us that sophisticated technology advances would mean an end to our reliance on paper.

No more books! They said. The trees will be safe! The Rain forest will thrive.

They were partly right! Except it didn’t quite work out that way did it?

I still receive printed materials! I continue to print important documents from the computer. I still purchase physical copies of books. I still get receipts!

In fact, as an author, I find nothing helps with rewrites, edits, and proof reading more than a PAPER copy!

I’m beginning to suspect the computer generates more paper waste.

But back to junk mail!

As if the junk mail stuffed in my mailbox–and let’s not even talk about all the business cards, flyers, and pamphlets left on my doorstep–wasn’t enough to go through, now I have email junk mail to contend with!

How much junk mail do you get in your inbox? Don’t get me started!

“All done!” I smack my hands together after the chore.

“You didn’t throw away the pizza coupon, did you? I was saving that one.” Hubby says while aiming the remote at the TV. “Hon?”

Related Posts: Closet Craziness; Surviving My PurseOde to Stilettos; Girlie to-do list #1Girlie to-do list #2Sequestration at my house; Mom’s Smoke Signals