Did a bit of wine tasting this weekend, which is always a fun way to unwind from the work week. While driving home the next day, I was reminded of another kind of whine—WHINING. Yup, writers love to whine with their wine. And, naturally, writers have lots to whine about!
A few blogs ago, I posted Tunefully Yours, a collection of writer-modified opening lines to a few famous songs.
So in the spirit of that blog, here are the complete lyrics to the ol’ writing favorite “Sight of Typos.” Sing this to Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Sound of Silence.”
Hello typos, my old friend,
I’ve come to correct you once again,
Because the words softly creeping,
Left a plot across the page sleeping,
But the story vision that was planted in my brain
despite the sight of typos.
In restless revisions I edit alone
Tighten grammar set in stone,
in front of the halo of LCD,
I tapped my fingers on the plastic keys
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a misused word
That split the prose
And revealed the sight of typos.
And in the twitter light I saw
Ten thousand writers, maybe more.
Writers talking without speaking,
Writers hearing without listening,
Writers typing novels that bookworms never read
and never shall
because of the plethora of typos.
“Fools,” said I, “You do not know –
Typos in a manuscript grow.
Hear my words that I might teach you.
Read my blog that I might show you.”
But my warnings like homonyms sound
And echoed in the manuscript rife with typos.
And the writers rewrote and prayed
To the publishing gods they made.
And the red squiggles flashed out its warning
In the sentences that they were forming.
And the sign said, the novels of authors are written in Microsoft Word
And obsessively corrected during the sight of typos.
Hope it doesn’t get stuck in your head!
Related Links: Readin’ & Writin’