Tag Archives: teaching

Student Translations

We’ve all read the “She Says…She Means…” funnies that make their way around the email and Facebook circuit–and they’re always good for a laugh.

Here’s my teacher-student version.

students say1

student says 22

student says 33

Related Posts:Job Skills vs Personality Traits; On-line Job ApplicationsSchool Answering Message; Senioritis

blog ender 2

 

The Perfect School Bag

If you could design the perfect tote to carry all your work/school/gym/office stuff what features would it have?

Wish I could find the perfect tote bag for hauling around all my teacher essentials. I’ve only been looking for the perfect bag forever ( a tiny exaggeration). Like the perfect purse, I wrote about in an earlier blog,( Surviving my Purse)  the perfect tote doesn’t seem to exist. Oh sure, there are a plethora of totes, carry-alls, back packs, duffles, briefcases, and school bags available at Macys, Target, Office Max, etc, but none seem designed for the fussy selective high school teacher.

Here’s a few of my basic needs:

  • Must stand up on its own. I have lots of meetings to attend and a floppy bag is just so…floppy. ( Bags that stand on their own are easier to rifle through)
  • Must have a shoulder strap or cross-over length strap. This will be be good for hauling stuff long distances–like from one end of campus to the other.
  • Must have room enough for iPad, a few books, lunch, pair of flats, and a stack of essays.
  • Must have multiple outside pockets for holding: 1) my morning Starbucks,  2) classroom keys/campus ID,  3) cell phone, 4) random papers picked up at teacher mailbox
  • Must also have multiple inside pockets for: 1) the dreaded red pen, 2) pencils, 3) iPhone cord,  4) flash-drives, 4) notepad
  • Must be water repellent  (sometimes is actually rains in SoCal!)
  • Must not be black! Objects tend get lost inside a black-lined bag.
  • Must have waterproof lunch compartment. (Most teachers bring their lunch and beverage, and I can’t remember how many times my lunch leaked all over essays or –yep–all over my iPad. Note: I tossed the Tupperware for some leak proof glass containers.)
  • In fact, a watertight iPad compartment would be great!
  • Points for stylish looks

Sort of sounds like I’m looking for a portable office–which is often the case.

waterproof lunch bag is attached to tote--not so stylish

waterproof lunch bag is attached to tote–not so stylish

I found an almost perfect book bag at Barnes & Noble. It’s just lacking a long shoulder strap.

The perfect tote for the office! Sigh. Maybe one day I’ll find it.

 

 The Merkabah Recruit 
is FREE for AmazonPrime members
and $2.99 on Kindle
Don’t have a Kindle?
Download a FREE app for iPad, iPhone,Android, Blackberry, or Mac

School Answering Message

Taking the day off to catch up on teacher and author responsibilities, BUT so as not to leave my faithful readers high and dry, I will share a funny video.  Any teacher will appreciate it. Sometimes, I wish I could leave something similar on my voice mail.

 

 

The Merkabah Recruit 
is FREE for AmazonPrime members
and $2.99 on Kindle
Don’t have a Kindle?
Download a FREE app for iPad, iPhone,Android, Blackberry, or Mac

Are Schools Killing Creativity?

This video is courtesy of TED (Technology, Entertainment, and Design), a wonderful resource for all types of motivational speeches by world-renowned intellectuals, philanthropists, mover-shakers, pundits, and literati.  Here, Sir Ken Robinson addresses the issue of teaching creativity–or lack of– in schools.

I show this to my high school students. After viewing the 20 minute video, we discuss how  their most beloved possession ( the cell phone) is a reflection of creativity and out-of-the-box thinking.

 

 

Not so stupid questions

No recipes today—I’m still trying to get rid of the leftovers. Next week, I’ll post some easy hors d’oeuvres ideas for all those Holiday parties.

Instead, I’ll post a few of stupid questions for your pondering pleasure. I take no credit for the following—these not so stupid questions are from webenglishteacher.com in the Just for Fun category

1. Why does an alarm go off, when it actually turns on?

2. If you mate a bulldog with a shitzu, is the breed called a bullshit?

3. Why do we call it a drive thru when we have to stop?

4. Why are softballs hard?

5. Why do banks leave the door open, but chain the pen to the counter?

6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch to  ask the location for the bathroom?

7. Why does Goofy stand up, when Pluto is on all fours? They’re both dogs!

8. Why do we say we are getting the “dog fixed” when afterwards it doesn’t work anymore?

9. Why do men say they are “taking a dump” when they are actually leaving a dump?

10. Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

11. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

12. Why does Donald Duck where a towel when he comes out of the shower–when he usually doesn’t usually wear any pants?

13. Why doe we press down harder on the remote, when we know the battery is dead?

14. Why is the # 2 pencil still called# 2 if it’s the #1 best seller?

15. If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread to the top of a cat?

16. Why is it called an electrical outlet, when you have to plug things in?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Climate Controlled Offices

white_clouds.jpgDo you love or hate climate controlled offices?

What a great age we live in! In the summer my office is cold! In the the winter, my office is freezing!

Yes, I live in Southern California where there are 2 seasons a year! And I think–I”m fairly certain–almost positive–that one season is called Sunny and the other is Cloudy ( or maybe Rainy).

Spring, Winter, Summer, and Fall are just idyllic metaphors for Californians. Poetic, a bit symbolic, but not really indicative of temperature.

So, while other parts of our great nation are  donning  mittens, scarves, boots,  and sweaters– I’m–wait– I keep those same items in my office all year long!

view outsideI’m fortunate--I have a window with a lovely view. From my pent house,  I can look outside to see blue sky and rolling hills. The view provides a sense of connection with nature– like Thoreau, maybe (not,really).

But the blue skies and sunshine outside is a balmy 90* and the room inside is  a frigid 68*

I know the temperature in my room because I installed a thermometer to prove to Maintenance that, yes, my room is below 70 degrees EVERY DAY, every hour, every second.  Rain or shine.  Summer or winter.

Coincidentally, just down the hall, my co-worker is either enjoying a sauna or meat locker. She never knows from one day to the next—because, you know, we are working in a CLIMATE CONTROLLED OFFICE!

Who’s controlling it? And from where?

Anyway, my whining aside, I should have a more positive outlook!

I could be saving lots of money because I don’t need to invest in a seasonal wardrobe!

 Love not ever having my room be a sweat box!

Hate not feeling “seasonal” and sitting working at my desk in a sweater in 96 degree weather!

Thoughts, anyone?

Related Posts: Wanted: Food Fairy; Impatient Me; Countless Club Cards; First World Problems